The Shadow in Synastry: The Roving “I” (part 3)

Please read parts 1 and 2 of this series before this one.  (The Shadow in Synastry: The Roving “I” ) It’s important to understand the concepts behind the angles before taking in the information below.

I normally don’t do these ‘cookbook’ type lists, but here are some observations gleaned from almost 20 years of doing synastries.  These are common problems.  The list is certainly not comprehensive.  Many other issues can arise.

Some relationship challenges and blind spots for the signs on the Asc/Desc axis:

Aries Asc/Libra Desc:  So busy moving forward that relationship needs are not acknowledged, leading to neglect.  Looking for the sweetest or most complacent partner, only to discover that kitty has claws.  Attracted to what society finds most appealing, only to realize that it isn’t what was really wanted or needed.  Not realizing that compromise and give and take in relationship can be rewarding. Not acknowledging own need for down time/peace and quiet.  Must learn: how to involve the partner.  Unacknowledged need:  to connect and include.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  seeking approval.

Taurus Asc/Scorpio Dsc:  Trying to keep the partner under lock and key, then shocked when deceived.  Not acknowledging the powerful regenerative forces in sexual relationships, leading to complacency.    Becoming lost in sensuality for its own sake, not acknowledging the deep psychological forces at work.  Trying to keep everything contained, until its too late.   Must learn: fearlessness, and to trust the eternal rebirth of life energy. Unacknowledged need: for powerful, transformative experience.  Unacknowledged behaviour: destructive and self-destructive tendencies.

Gemini Asc/Sag Dsc:  Attracted to instinctive partners who do their own thing, without bothering to discover own wisdom.  Following because it’s easier. Not acknowledging desires to feel free and unfettered, to explore and understand.   Keeping busy to avoid committing.  Need to develop instinct.  Needs  to appreciate nature and the natural order of the world.  Must learn: the validity of belief.  Unacknowledged need:  to discover and follow own truth; to have a purpose.  Unacknowledged behaviour: compromising the truth; unwilling to complete anything.

Cancer Asc/Capricorn Dsc:  Attracted to competent, stable, capable, ‘take charge’ or Sugar Daddy/Momma types.  Letting others call the shots, without acknowledging one’s own relationship needs.  Partnership for status or security.   Providing the nurturing in relationship, while partner provides the material needs.  Treating partner like a child.  Must learn: how to initiate and work towards goals. Unacknowledged need:  to become one’s own master, to take responsibility for one’s self.    Unacknowledged behavior:  need to control partner; manipulation for gain.

Leo Asc/Aquarius Dsc:  Tendency to choose younger or more easily led partners who suddenly rebel/leave.  Need for equality in relationship.  Need to learn detachment, friendship, that partner is a person in and of themselves and not a reflection of one’s own ego needs.   Need to be open and honest with partners, to be real, and not to play a role.  Balance heart and head.  Must learn: detachment and discrimination in choosing partners (need more than  desire to form a lasting relationship); to step out of the limelight for the greater good of the relationship.  Unacknowledged need:  to let go of relationship ‘drama’.  Unacknowledged behaviour: love ’em and leave ’em; self-absorption.

Virgo Asc/Pisces Dsc:  Attracted to the artistic, weak, mystical, religious, poetic or wounded.   Falling in love with the elusive or unattainable. Longing for ‘perfect’ love.  Relationships can create crises of consciousness through mystical experiences—entire world view can change.  Making sacrifices, giving up too much for partnership. Must learn:  to compromise; nothing is perfect. Unacknowledged need:  to inspire and be inspired, to be connected to something greater. Unacknowledged behaviour:  refusal to be pinned down, or known deeply; desire to hide from the world; inability to commit to creating something concrete; valuing dreams above reality.

Libra Asc/Aries Dsc:  Attracted to self-starters, people who ‘know where they’re going.” Bend over backwards so far their feet leave the ground.  Can be afraid to be alone—identity comes from being part of a couple. Too many compromises lead to lack of self-knowledge—particularly regarding partnership. Unacknowledged aggression, passive aggressive behaviors.  “If I’m nice enough, everyone will love me.”  Must learn: to speak up for one’s self, and honestly. Unacknowledged need:  to act for one’s self, to feel legitimate with one’s own plan and motives.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  willfulness, selfishness.

Scorpio Asc/Taurus Dsc:  Attracted to constant, stable, ‘earthy’ types. Can overdo sensuality.  Unacknowledged positioning for power in relationship. Controlling behaviour.  Keeping secrets from partner.  Intractable.  Refusal to compromise.  Must learn: to relax and enjoy what is for it’s own sake. Unacknowledged need: to gather and build. Unacknowledged behaviour:  Fear of letting go.

Sag Asc/Gemini Dsc:  Attracted to movers and shakers, people with connections, information gatherers, people who communicate easily.  Need for freedom can become excessive. Roving loner can end up partner-less. Can use search for inner ‘truth’ as a mask for not committing.  Inability to follow through.  Unacknowledged need:  to be informed, to connect with others.  Must learn: to communicate what’s important.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  superficiality, restlessness, lack of commitment.

Capricorn Asc/Cancer Dsc:  Can be obsessed with following own goals, ambition. Attracted to nurturing, very emotional or child-like types.  May be too attached to the ‘mother’ archetype.  Avoidance of intimacy.  Letting partner provide all the emotional support for the relationship.  Must learn:  how to nurture, particularly the partner’s goals and needs. Unacknowledged need:  to take good care of one’s self.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  clinging, secrecy, emotional manipulation.

Aquarius Asc/Leo Dsc:  Attracted to creative, dynamic partners.  Partners must be ‘the best’ at whatever they do. Lets partners play out  the drama of relationship, while Aquarius plays the ‘logical’ one. Must learn:  to express feeling, allowing the heart to lead. Unacknowledged need:  to stand out in a crowd.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  rigidity, ordering partners to live life according to own ideals; elitism.

Pisces Asc/Virgo Dsc:  Attracted to grounded, ‘reasonable’ types who are reliable.  Wanting things for the greater good, but not willing to do the work.  Continually changing courses, abandoning one path for another.  Dependent on partner to take care of the ‘boring’ details. Needs to learn to turn inspiration into something concrete, to experience completion.  Must learn:  discrimination in all things; to make choices based on what’s real while retaining inspiration.  Unacknowledged need:  to be good at something, to contribute something concrete.  Unacknowledged behaviour:  Inability to choose, helplessness, dithering, feeling nothing is worthwhile.

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