The Endless Hunger of Chiron-Moon, Part One

 

Of all the contacts between Chiron and the inner planets in synastry, the one between Chiron Moon is the saddest, yet at the same time the most romantic.  When we are in the throes of love, we are looking for our other half, our true partner, someone, as the cliché goes, who completes us.  When we are with this miraculous being we feel fulfilled, we feel satisfied mentally, physically and spiritually.  We feel fed, in all kinds of ways.  We can breathe a sigh of relief, because the drive towards ‘other,’ that exhausting, spiritually debilitating search for a proper mate, is now suspended.  We can rest.  Alas, with Chiron/Moon, our search for partnership may initiate a dark hunger that, in Shakespeare’s words, ‘feeds on itself.’  And the only way out is through the crucible of the divine.

Many amateur astrologers often neglect the Moon in synastry.  Or they do once they get past the, “Are there any aspects between the Moon and Sun?” phase.  But the Moon itself plays a huge part in our relationships, (no matter our sex) as does the fourth house and the house the Moon rules in the chart.  How can you become intimate with someone if you aren’t comfortable with them?  How can you truly open up and experience the deep transformation waiting there for you in your 8th house if you are on guard against psychic invasion?  The Moon’s journey, as the first water sign, begins in house 4 at the seat of consciousness, moves on to and through the transformative, ‘dying to myself’ experience of the 8th and ends up as the transcendent awareness and compassionate wisdom of the 12th.  And the Moon does this wordlessly, without logic or analysis, through feeling and instinct alone.  In essence, it represents the height and purpose of romantic partnership:  I feel, I merge and die, I am at one with the universe.  This is the power of water, deeply underestimated in most texts, dismissed as ‘sensitivity, sentiment.’  Dismiss it at your peril.  Anyone who has ever been in a flood or carried away by a rip tide knows what water can do.

No matter what signs the Moon is involved with, or what signs are on the cusp of the water houses, the process is the same.  You will process your deep emotions according to the element you find there.  If you’re lucky, they’re in agreement.  You may have a Leo Moon and fire signs ruling four, eight and 12.  You will plunge into your own emotional life as if you are on fire, in spite of having, for example, Saturn square the Moon.  You may be reserved towards others, but most likely instinctive and impulsive as far as your internal processes are concerned.  If the sign of your Moon is not as compatible with the signs on the water houses, your instincts (Moon) may be at odds with the way you cope with your emotional wisdom.  Maybe your Moon is in earth and you need solid proof of things to feel comfortable.  Maybe your Virgo Moon needs rationality and analysis.  Yet with fire on the cusp of the water houses, the Virgo tendencies will war with the drive for instinctual and passionate connection.

Where does Chiron enter into all of this? It has to do with that last phase of water, that big leap between the 8th house and the 12th.  The Moon’s polar opposite is Saturn, ruling the 10th house, the house of physical manifestation.  The Moon/Saturn polarity, as the second archetypal symbol of female/male pairing, is about making our interior worlds manifest in an exterior way, the interflow between ‘me in here’ and ‘you out there.’  (Please see my other articles on the Saturn polarity and the MC/IC relationship beginning HERE.)  Our 8th house merging is tested by the realities of the 10th house, which asks, “Am I being true to myself (4th house)?  Is this real?  Can I exteriorize what I have become after being burnt down to the essence via this new ‘other’ ?  The 8th house is a test of personal truth and integrity, but we are then asked, “What are you going to make of this?  What do you come away with?” When all goes well we can build a genuine life out of the newly forged Self, easing us past the 11th house towards the divine awareness in the 12th.

When Chiron is involved with the Moon, it must guide us beyond the realm of Saturn in order to experience the transcendent nature of the Self.  And the way it does that is by forcing us to face all of Saturn’s fears and defenses until we are staring at our true selves, wounds, scars, deformities and limitations galore.  Chiron sends us out into the world missing a layer of skin, and insures that others will not rest until they touch it.  It is only by working through the pain that we reach the limitless realm of the divine.  Like Chiron, we must sacrifice our mortal, material bound selves in order to become immortal.

Chiron knows that all of the secure structures Saturn is building with our hard-won emotional truth must be got beyond, somehow.  These ‘real’ structures, whatever they may be—marriage, family, a secure place in the world out there—are not enough.  They are shelters preventing us from participating in a larger truth.

When Chiron is attached to the Moon, either in the natal chart or via synastry,  the Moon’s natural need to be fed, cherished and securely attached is never satisfied.  We learn early on that the manifest world is not our refuge. It is replaced by an endless hunger that rarely abates until later life, and which can be easily re-stoked by circumstance.  If we have the aspect in the natal chart, we are born with the sense that nothing is secure, but we make sad attempts to make ourselves secure anyway.  These attempts are doomed to failure:  any attempt at finding personal security in manifest reality, including ‘other’ is folly.  And yet the hunger doesn’t go away.  How we cope with the hunger defines our character. At first, this hunger represents our need for security, but as time goes on we become aware that something else is calling to us.

Chiron/Moon, more than any other aspect of Chiron, is prone to be the outsider, the ‘other.’  Chiron/Moon children, especially, are often the scapegoats on the block.  We come into this world with the sense of not fitting in, something is ‘wrong’ with us.  We may try to isolate ourselves from experience, but the hungry Moon keeps drawing us back into ordinary life again, only to tell us that we don’t belong (again).  Attempts to try to fit in are also doomed.  We know deep in our bones that we are not like ‘them,’ and yet are hard pressed to know why.

The Moon also represents our physical being, and Chiron/Moon people often have difficulties with the whole concept of being embodied.  Again, there is the sense that something is wrong with them, something is preventing them from being ‘normal.’  Often, Chiron/Moon people have some kind of physical issue that stamps them as different, and often we feel it first when we are very young:  too fat, too thin, limb deformities, skin markings, or something else that those little fascists otherwise known as children deem unusual and ripe for culling.  Hair too curly, hair too straight, anything can cause a psychic wound with Chiron/Moon.  This is only the beginning of a life long battle with the material/manifest world itself.

What Chiron/Moon eventually comes to understand is that the physical world is not the opposite of the divine world—the two are one.  This awareness often comes after a lifetime of struggle with manifest reality and sometimes the body itself.  Often, the breakthrough periods come when Chiron makes the squares and the opposition to itself.  This can happen at different times for each of us, due to Chiron’s erratic orbit.   These are the times that we realize that we are not the outsiders, but the ultimate insiders.  We see things that others don’t see, hear things that others don’t hear, know things that others don’t know.

Often, at the squares and the opposition, we are initiated into a new sensibility.  We move beyond the realm of Saturn into a world where ‘other-worldly’ phenomena is the norm.  We may have experiences of telepathy, precognition, distance viewing.  Out of body experiences are common, with full recollection.  Lucid dreaming is also common, and we can have periods where wisdom concerning ourselves and others is poured into us from beyond.  Advice and guidance may be available to us through meditation and through sleep.  We may find personal guides, teachers and mentors for the first time.  We may discover an innate ability to heal. The strangeness, the weirdness, the thing that separated us from others now unites us in understanding.  We realize that we are connected, that our inner and our outer lives work as one.  We move from an awareness of a separate consciousness in the 4th house to the Unity consciousness of Pisces and the 12th.

When Chiron is involved with the Moon, we must learn to fill our material vessels with spiritual waters, knowing all the time that the vessel and the glass are all made of the same substance in a different form.

What makes a synastry difficult when Chiron/Moon is between charts is that we must learn this lesson via the relationship.  Our grip on ‘reality’ is challenged and our attempts at security are washed away in what seems like a tide of ruthless indifference to the welfare of our consciousness.  Whether we are the Chiron person or the Moon person, the endless hunger is set aflame by interaction with another, a hunger which is impossible to satisfy by ordinary means.

More to come…


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