It is no accident that human beings seek security. It goes beyond the primal survival needs to something very basic. The Aries point at the Ascendant represents our entry into time and space—otherwise known as the ‘material world.’ It is representative of ‘the One’, the birth of a unique consciousness from that mass soup of universal mind. However, ‘the One,’ if it were complete within itself, would not move forward, would not seek out. It is the separative aspect of the human condition on the material plane that makes us seek out our mirror selves in Libra. We operate, in our lifetimes, within a duality and with a dualistic mind—there is ‘Self,’ and there is ‘Other.’ There is ‘me in here’ and ‘you out there.’ The seeking of ‘Other’ is in fact the urge towards growth, to unite with what we have (apparently) been split away from via our material birth. What we are actually seeking is our lost “Self,” our divine ‘Other half,’ the thing that will replace this perpetual ache of feeling trapped alone in this prison of a material universe. It is, of course, a myth and an illusion that we can be completed by something outside ourselves, because we are divine within ourselves. (Dorothy has the ability to click her ruby slippers and go ‘home’ all the while.) We forget that, however, once we are born into this dog eat dog world that is our initial perception of everyday reality.
In seeking our lost divinity, and the divinity of the material world itself, it is no surprise that we turn our potential partners into gods. The search for transcendence and the search for true partnership have only a soupcon of difference between them. The bursting of the illusions surrounding partnership, or our notions of partnership in this culture at this time, provide the first steps of spiritual seeking for many, the grist for the mill towards an awakened consciousness. When we find that the partner who promised to be the divine entity, the symbol of wholeness and perfection, the great healer of our psychic wound, turns out to be just an ordinary shlub with feet of clay, we can see for the first time that there is a plan for us beyond fulfilling the desires of the ego. If we pursue our spiritual path further, we begin to discover that the entire universe may be within us.
The Chiron myth is the story of one who sacrificed his ‘lesser’ life (the mortal existence) for a greater one (his immortality). However, that version of the story is a bit twisted, because Chiron didn’t actually know that he would become immortal and join his pals on Olympus. He was half god/half man, but he still didn’t have a clue what would happen. He simply threw himself into the fray with all good intentions. Chiron is where we throw ourselves into the fire without ever knowing what will come of it. This is particularly true of Chiron in relationships, where the discovery of our own immortality is a long and painful process, in spite of our best intent. This is particularly true of Chiron/Moon, where the sense of belonging and security is fractured and we are eventually forced to vanquish our cherished notion that belonging and intimacy will save us.
When Chiron/Moon is within a chart, the hunger for divinity is strong and there is a longing to make up for the emotional deprivations of early years. When Chiron touches the Moon the hunger for partnership can be almost physical. Imagine what happens when Chiron/Moon is between charts, when either party can take the role of divinity and neither party knows what’s coming. The Moon is always hungry, and Chiron is always primed to provide the lessons the Moon hungers for.
With Moon/Chiron between charts, both people need healing, though both may not be aware of it. Chiron may be pulled to use its healing powers on the Moon, who may be needy in many ways (whose Moon isn’t wounded in some way?). Chiron may long to heal the Moon’s hard relationship to an outer planet, or a retrograde Saturn. Chiron will respond to the Moon’s inner child and sense all that it needs. This urge to heal ‘other’ is, of course, reflective of Chiron’s need to heal itself and its own longing. The Moon person may be assuaged at first, and may be thrilled at having its deepest needs met. Chiron/Moon contacts bring out the “I can’t believe it, I’ve never felt this way before…” element in relationships. To the Moon person, the Chiron person seems like the Wise One, his Cave the refuge and safety they’ve never had. Someone finally ‘gets’ them, because Chiron ‘gets’ everything. However, the first seeds of suspicion are often sown when the Moon person feels as if Chiron is stifling its growth. Contrary to popular belief, the Moon is not always happy staying in a Cancerian pool of safety. The initiating, cardinal-mode power of the Moon is towards manifestation; it wants to give birth, wants to reproduce itself and its experiences of life. It wants to replicate its interior life in the exterior world. How can it do that if Chiron is taking charge, and handing it everything before the Moon even knows it needs it?
Chiron, on the other hand, may not feel it is worthy of this profound love. Chiron will give itself completely, without caring for the consequences, because it is after a kind of sacrifice of the lower self, and when Chiron/Moon contacts are profound it will do this via relationship. It is a bit like Mars/Moon contacts, with the lure being not pure sex, but healing. All Chiron contacts between charts can lead to otherworldly experiences via sexual contact/desire and it is usually the Chiron person who will have the transcendent experiences due to the profound nature of their love. The love of other can literally take them out of their bodies to experience this love on other levels and planes of existence. This can be where the Chiron person goes wrong by declaring the other person an immortal god, not realizing its own immortality. The intense connection that we feel in Chiron relationships is the connection with the divine via the other, not by the other.
On the other hand, Chiron/Moon between charts can be highly erotic. Chiron itself is very sexual, but in a tantric way. It understands that spirit is what makes the motion in the ocean. Chiron is directly concerned with the distribution of kundalini throughout the body via the chakra system. Chiron/Moon sex is never casual—even in the briefest encounter, it will affect the body with its transforming and connecting energy. The lure of a Chiron/Moon contact is in its promise of completion via this energy: it will connect the masculine and feminine halves of the whole.
Chiron, always the outsider, is always looking for a place to belong. When Chiron meets the Moon, that sense of ‘home’ in ‘other’ can be overwhelming. The Moon person can be seen as a refuge for all of Chiron’s pain and inadequacy. The Moon is made to feel secure by Chiron’s wounded state—they may not be consciously aware of it, but the inner script is, “This person is so crippled he/she will never leave me.” This is often wonderful at first. And then, depending on the amount of freedom the chart requires, things will change.
This can be quite tragic, because both are clinging for the wrong reasons, and both are preventing the other’s growth. It can be quite difficult to encourage growth with Chiron/Moon, because the familiarity of the pain is what keeps them together. Actual healing may not actually be wanted.
The other thing that goes wrong in Chiron/Moon relationships is that the Chiron person often takes the lead and becomes the teacher and leader. There can be a tremendous amount of co-dependence in a Chiron/Moon relationship, as the Chiron person may always know best, (or seem to) and tries to lead the relationship in a particular way, even without knowing it. The Moon person begins to resent the ‘teacher/student’ relationship; and the once-revered guru/healer may turn into an oppressor. Eventually, the Chiron person causes the Moon person to feel unmoored and lose the sense of inner ‘home’ that causes us to feel confident and independent. At some point the Moon person leaves, or confronts Chiron with its behavior. The Chiron person may often focus on the relationship as a substitute for facing its own fears and being responsible for its own growth. It is particularly prone to relationship dramas that get it off the ‘hook’ of self-examination, preferring to get caught in the drama of self-sacrifice and immolation rather than take a cold, concrete look at what is holding it back. Intimacy can be a hypnotic lure, but is a poor substitute for the courage it takes to turn an immature Chiron into a mature one. With Chiron/Moon, there is a particular danger that the physical part of the relationship becomes a drug whereby we intoxicate one another without really learning anything.
As happens with all Chiron contacts in synastry, but particularly with Chiron/Moon, there is a tendency for the Chiron person to choose a partner who is not an equal in terms of spiritual evolution and understanding. Chiron does this because he or she is not yet aware of his or her own divine power and spiritual perspective. Or the spirituality may be considered peripheral, and not central to daily life. When we choose partners who are not on our spiritual level, we are always unhappy and restless, something is not quite right. We may begin to feel that our partners are beneath us in some way, or lacking in awareness and/or perception. Circumstances will intervene where we begin to understand that this partner is not the right partner, that we have moved on in some way and need to find more appropriate partners who will appreciate us for who we are, not who we were, a product of past wounding. We may choose to sacrifice ourselves for the relationship, but this impulse does not often last. Chiron can waste a lot of time worshipping at the wrong altar, and suffer the heartbreak and delusion of having its eyes opened too late. That heady feeling of mutual belonging in the beginning can dwindle to ‘what was I thinking?’ very quickly once the observation is made. The problem with Chiron is that it may stay—Chiron bonds, once created, are notoriously difficult to extricate ourselves from. Chiron is tempted to squeeze out every last drop of wisdom before the ties are cut.
The odd thing about Chiron contacts in synastry, and especially Chiron/Moon, is that the trines and sextiles are often no better than the squares and oppositions, except for the fact that the two people move into the relationship faster and are quicker to learn the lessons involved, thereby releasing themselves more easily. When Chiron is in hard aspect, there seems to be more compulsion involved, more tension, and a more extreme relationship experience. Healing is available in all aspects, but with the hard aspects there is a higher price to pay.
The best part about Chiron/Moon is the ability to heal even the deepest psychological, sexual and sometimes physical, wounds. The Moon person may instinctively know how to help Chiron understand its talents and bring them out into the world. Chiron needs, above all, to understand that it is a vessel through which divinity pours, and the Moon instinctively has the trust that allows this to happen. Chiron stops sacrificing itself, and begins to use its talents in new ways. The Moon is enlightened by the relationship, reminded that divinity resides in the smallest crumb of life. Both can be rescued from the compulsive drive to ‘other’ and be made to understand, through observation, mutual respect, that we are within ourselves complete. At best, Chiron/Moon feeds the god within.