Dawn Bodrogi ✦ The Inner Wheel
I used to dread August. I never knew why. I used to blame the weather — the heat, humidity, and the subsequent kamikaze mosquito attacks of the Augusts of my childhood. But that wasn’t it. I never minded July, when the summer was fresh and fierce and the break from school still oh so necessary. However, by the time August rolled around, something had changed. An ennui had set in, a feeling that would mutate almost to frustration by the time the first week of September arrived.
There was a strange lack of focus in the air. There was a sense of ending. There was a longing for the new beginning that the return of classes and schedules would embody. The feeling of August, for me, was one of helplessness against the slow rolling of time. An inability to effect things. An inability to move forward.
Imagine my surprise when I got older, and found that, well, almost no one else felt this way about poor August. To them, August meant vacations and late swims and lightning bug hunts. And also the dread of the inevitable — the beginning of classes. Ennui??? Erm, no, not really. Having learned about astrology later on, I came to realise my feelings were tied to the Sun in the 12th house transit.
It wasn’t until years later that a fellow astrologer offered the answer. “You’re a Virgo, aren’t you?” he asked. (I nodded. Like many Virgos, oddly reluctant to admit to such a thing.) “That’s it, then. Twelfth House phase.” Truly a head-slapping moment — not in a Moe Howard way, but in a “how can I be so thick/dense” way.
“When the Sun, the very heart of the chart, the engine of consciousness, quiets down in the 12th, it is possible to hear new voices whispering to us. These voices guide us forward. But only if we let the 12th house Sun teach us to be still.”
— Dawn Bodrogi
What I had neglected to see (and isn’t it odd how we often miss the most obvious in our own charts) was that August brought, for me, the Sun transiting in its yearly 12th house phase to its natal placement. In other words, my 10 degree Virgo Sun had gone around the whole zodiac. Dividing the natural cycle by equal houses, it was in a twelfth house position from 10 Leo to 9 Virgo. This happened the month before my September birthday.
That’s when it would return to its natal position once again. Adding insult to injury regarding my denseness, I also have a later degree of Virgo rising. Therefore, rather than quitting the natural/virtual twelfth house phase on my birthday, this darkling Sun gathers momentum by transiting my actual 12th house. It consorts with my natal 12th house Sun which is happily installed amidst the ghosts, leaky pipes, meditative insights and natural summing-up energies. These energies reflect what the old astrologers called “The House of Self-Undoing.”
It finally made sense to me. It was all very Neptunian, this dreamy, foggy, unable-to-effect-things state of mind.
And, as with all things Neptunian, something arises from the cloud of confusion and the ash of the life that has come before. When the Sun, the very heart of the chart, the engine of consciousness, quiets down in the 12th, it is possible to hear new voices whispering to us. These voices guide us forward. But only if we let the 12th house Sun teach us to be still.
I have since considered myself lucky to have this triple-whammy solar phase every year. It gives me more time to pull those slippery strands of creativity together. I can weave something concrete and earthy (useful) out of them. Now that I know what’s being asked of me, the feelings of frustration during the Sun’s 12th house movement are easier to cope with. I’ve learned to embrace this reflection time and listen.
Without this awareness, we focus on what we lack, rather than on ways we might move forward.
Anxiety about getting older during the 12th house solar phase usually intensifies during this time. We fret about the future, or wonder how we’re going to drag our creaky bones through another year. But the Sun is powerfully placed here. It guides us through the transformative power of a rebirth. Fired in the solar light, and forged with awareness, the strands of previously unprocessed or unacknowledged experience can create new life.
The gentle light of the Sun in the 12th house phase gifts us with introspective time every year before our birthday. It invites us to reflect on our past year, seek inner truths, and embrace the promise of renewal. It’s a cycle of letting go and starting anew, revealing its mysteries only with time and patience.
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The Sun is powerfully placed in the 12th. It guides us through the transformative power of a rebirth — but only if we learn to be still.
Dear Dawn,
I had the same epiphany when I realized that my natal Sun transits the 12th house in December, which always feels depressing for me, talk about being a square peg in a round hole. I love late November around Thanksgiving and was always ready and happy to prepare a feast, have a party, but by Christmas I was done, finished, ready to hibernate.
It’s good to understand why!
Marina
I am also a Virgo rising with Sun in the 12th house, and am curious about your experiences and assimilation of this placement. Also, currently, transiting Chiron is opposing your Sun, whilst Pluto forms a trine. Can you see, feel, or notice these transits reflecting in your life at the moment?
Personally, I have bemoaned this Chiron transit, as it will oppose my Sun at 9 deg soon. . .
Amy jo
You didn’t mention until the fourth paragraph that your natal sun was in the 12th house. Until I saw that, the piece made no sense to me! I am also Virgo and also have a 12th house sun, but I always lovved August and even back-to-school September. Maybe your natal sun is poorly aspected? Mine is not.