Question: “Is Venus/Mars the only indicator of sexual attraction?”
Anonymous No, absolutely not. Mars can touch a lot of things and get excited by them. The Venus/Mars pairing is relatively tame compared to some other combos. Mars/Venus is really about sexual give and take, sexual 
compatibility, not only attraction. Venus, for both sexes, is the way we express our love. Mars is how we express ourselves sexually. It’s nice when the two go hand in hand, but if we’re talking about sexual excitement between two people, there are other indicators. Moon/Mars contacts can be very hot, sometimes too hot, because the Mars person’s sexuality penetrates (um…no other word I can use here) the other person’s psyche. The Moon rules the soma, the physical body as it relates to the psyche, so when Mars is interacting with the Moon, there are both physical and psychological stirrings that can be very intense. Mars is being turned on by the Moon person’s entire being. There can be an almost ferocious bonding, and issues surrounding nurturing can come up for both people. Anger, too. Sometimes Mars cuts deep, and the sexual relationship can make the Moon person aware of unconscious issues from the past. The Moon can feel uncomfortable because it feels too exposed. Mars will sense the withdrawal, and either retreat or pursue. This contact is intense, but not easy to live with unless there are other, calming factors between them.
Mars to angles and angle rulers can also be highly sexual. The angles are like antennae, when something hits them, they really feel it. If your Mars hits my angle, I feel your Mars in a very real way all the time I’m with you. I may feel your Mars over and above anything else in your chart, because it’s so easily accessible to me. Now, if the rest of my chart doesn’t jive with your Mars, I’m not going to like it (or maybe you) much, but if there are aspects to your Mars, I will find you exciting and want to be near you, because your Mars is giving my planets and angles a buzz. In turn, Mars feels this and gets turned on by it.
No one talks about Pluto and sex much, but Pluto is the higher octave of Mars and Pluto contacts with relationship planets can be very sexual in and of themselves, and very complicated. Between charts, it can behave very much like Mars, only driven to the nth degree. Where Mars has drive, Pluto has compulsion. Where Mars can dazzle, Pluto can hypnotize. Where Mars is aggressive and forthcoming, Pluto can overpower. Like all the outer planets, Pluto has a mystique that fascinates. Pluto’s mystique is the risk of danger. We know Pluto can take us to the edge, and we both fear it and want it. Whereas Mars desires are very personal and real, Plutonian compulsion veils a truth we know we must discover, and both parties in the relationship will be drawn to this hidden truth, almost against their will. When Pluto is involved in sexual attraction, there is always a tug between empowerment and powerlessness. We try to purge ourselves through sex, to get to the absolute core of our psyches in order to be reborn. When Pluto is involved with a relationship planet, either natally or between charts, there is a need to burn through to the very essence of that planet and see what survives.
There are other sexual indicators that are too complicated to go into here. Heavy contacts with the eighth house and its ruler, eighth house ruler aspecting relationship planets, Taurus and Scorpio node contacts. Any outer planet contacting a relationship planet can have a sexual vibe. Wherever there is a deep desire for transformation, the human psyche seems to be geared to translate that desire in sexual terms. It’s fascinating.
Question: “You mentioned the fifth house as a relationship house. I’ve always thought it was the seventh. What’s the difference?”
Jeff, New Jersey
This is actually quite a complex question, and I’m going to be doing an article on it in the near future. We need to re-think the roles that the fifth and seventh houses play in synastry.
I think it was Liz Greene who once said that a relationship is only represented by the seventh house if the people involved discuss who is taking out the trash that night. We all rush to look at the seventh house to define relationship, but often we’re premature. The Asc/Desc angle describes attraction, (see “The Roving “I”) but when it comes to defining the relationship itself, they are often fifth house things. Marriages, yes, seventh house. Living together, yes, seventh house. Long term dating? Exclusive dating? Those are tougher to define.
The fifth house is where we express ourselves, both creatively and pro-creatively. The fifth house rules children, but it’s also about how they get there in the first place. People with packed fifth houses often love interacting in relationship–so much so that they may never settle down with one for long. The intense one to one that the seventh house demands may not be their cup of tea. The fifth house is where our fun is, and also our joy. It’s the Sun’s natural house, and it describes the way we need to shine. Fifth house relationships teach us to spread our light. The fifth house also rules gambling. What’s more of a gamble than interacting with another human being?
The fifth house is where we are first learning to act with and for others. It’s a kind of rehearsal room for the seventh house. Some of us need a lot of rehearsing, others not so much. If we have a lot of planets there, or important planets, it indicates that we need to test the way we relate to others, to learn our style of relating, to develop our tastes. And we should try and have fun doing it.
I always check the fifth house in synastry, and the state of its ruler. Conflicts and problems between the fifth and the seventh often expose internal conflicts about commitment.
When I see Mars-Pluto intra-aspects (same planets from both charts) it signals the potential for one or both people being obsessed with the other, especially sexually. Whether this completely dominates the relationship depends on the rest of their synastry.
Love what you’re adding to the information pool!! 🙂
Yes, I was going to talk about Mars/Pluto (Mars and Mars to the higher power, geez), but shied away for fear of my computer melting. I’m going to be doing an article on Pluto aspects soon, and will have to switch to my asbestos keyboard!
I echo Neith: thank you for enriching the information pool.
one of – if not the most intense – sexual attractions that i experienced was to a woman whose Mars exactly opposed my Saturn. it never played out and i eventually realized it was really all about something that was emerging from within. i was trying to absorb or subsume from the sexual chemistry and relationship an unconscious piece of myself. obsession and agony surrounds sexuality when it is misused…..
Yes, Mars/Saturn is another one of those aspects that no one talks about. As we’ve discussed elsewhere on the site, Saturn can be highly desirous when it sees something it feels it needs, it can be downright Plutonian at times. Oppositions that are created in synastry can be furiously intense, because the planets create a polarity. For one or the other or both parties, it may seem like the other is the embodiment of what is needed, the missing key to fulfillment.
lot’ of good topics i really enjoyed reading this blog keep up the good work….
I think it was Liz Greene who once said that a relationship is only represented by the seventh house if the people involved discuss who is taking out the trash that night. We all rush to look at the seventh house to define relationship, but often we’re premature.
I totally agree and was thinking about writing an article on this as well. It’s as if people want to skip the romance and courting phase and head straight into marriage. I think that 5th house connections can show what attracted two people in the first place. For example, one person’s Venus or Ascendant falling in the other’s 5th.
Taurus and Scorpio node contacts. 8th house emphasis etc…
I have all of that with my boyfriend. Our natal nodes are opposite and conjunct over Scorp-Taurus. Composite Ascendant is Scorpio, with Sun, Venus, Mercury and Jupiter in the 8th, and Moon-Pluto conjunct in the 11th. Heavy, man, lol.
I have met a man whose pluto square to my mars. We were intense and sexual, but ended up with frustration and hating each other….
Pluto Trine Mars in a composite. I will admit, this person I shared this aspect with, I believed there was some kind of commitment between us even though we never acted on it. I met some other people for a while, I was sure he was going to tell me he wanted to see me again (natal Neptune in 5th, dreaming again prolly) and he wanted a committment, luckily this Neptune stuff I face is positive for me since it gives me a wish to subject myself to in the way I see it. The guy met someone else! Fine, after years of waiting for him to call, the illusion washed away. I wanted to feel like someone (he) really loved me enough to hold on to the dream.
>>Wherever there is a deep desire for transformation, the human psyche seems to be geared to translate that desire in sexual terms. It’s fascinating.<<
one of the truest statements in astrolgy about the human psyche..
I’m having a heck of time entering a relationship with a man who has sun, venus and mercury in cancer in my twelfth house. I have venus and mars in aries in both his seventh and eighth houses, trine his leo mars. I’ve never had such a raw sexual connection with anyone before – I should feel guilty, but I don’t! I do feel nearly paralyzed with fear and interest, and there is a tremendous amount of difficulty getting the relationship off the ground here. Maybe too intense a partnership to enter?
The raw and impulsive Aries energy is fighting the deeper, and more reclusive Cancer energy in your twelfth. The question becomes whether you dare to expose yourself to that level of intimacy–Aries is generally uncomfortable with intimacy and all that Cancerian ‘feeling.’ Whether or not it’s too intense for you to enter is entirely up to you and whether you can resolve the conflict.
If someone’s mars and pluto falls in your eight house which is scorpio what does that mean for you? And most importantly how does it affect the planet person?
I find someone extremely attractive because of my mars conjunct his IC ,trine his ASC while his mars sextile my ASC.
Which orbs you use for this kind aspects? and i assume that conjunct are working better in this case?
I guess you haven’t been reading this blog very long, Essie, because anyone out there who does will tell you that this question of orbs drives me crazy. Aspects just don’t pop out of the ether–here one degree, gone the next. All aspects are phasal, meaning they apply (approach conjunction), conjunct, and then separate. The orb depends on how powerful the planet is in the chart. Think of it this way–you’re standing on a street corner. A marching band starts playing, and you can hear it approaching several blocks away. It gets louder and louder, and fades as it passes you. On another day you’re standing on that same corner, and someone comes by whistling, but you don’t hear him until his directly in your sight. The art of astrology is discovering which planets are the marching bands and which are the whistlers. (Hint: outer planets, chart rulers, nodal rulers and angle rulers are usually heavyweights.)
Hello!
I would like to get an opinion or some tips on this (it is just too intense!).
My Scorpio Mars conjuncts her Scorpio Pluto in her 7th house.
My Leo Moon conjuncts her Leo Mars and Venus in her 5th house.
Also my Libra Pluto opposites her Aries Ascendant by 0º10′
and squares her Leo Sun by 0º24′. At the same time there’s sextile to her Venus & Uranus and trine to her Jupiter.
We’ve got other good and friendly trines and sextiles and not that many clashing squares and oppositions. My main concern is how to keep the fire burning at a good pace 🙂 and not use it all up!
Thanks!
P.S. We’re both girls 😉
You’re absolutely right, that is one intense comparison. The best way to syphon off tension and keep things in balance is to use your trines and sextiles actively. That will take off some of the steam. And remember that oppositions are for balancing–work from both ends of the see saw. Good luck.
Hi, Dawn!
I met a guy who’s Sag moon in 6th house but is unaspected, he has difficulty on expressing his inner feelings, I found my Aquarius mars sextiles his moon, same as my Jupiter and Saturn also sextile his moon.Will that helps his unaspected moon to feel more comfortable to express his emotions and release his energy? Btw, my mars falls in his 8th house, except sextiles his moon, also squares his venus….is that the reason I think his damn sexy? 🙁
Yes, all of your sextiles should help him open up, especially if nothing in your chart is oppressing his Moon. There are most likely many reason you think he’s sexy–you don’t need astrology to prove that to you. We have lots of attraction points with other people, but we don’t always feel them. Focus on what’s unique, not what is ordinary (like planets in houses).
Would the Mars/Moon example work in this case:
Moon on the other person’s Mars-Pluto midpoint. Mars trines Pluto in his natal and so my Moon sextiles both.
My moon is pretty strong in my natal, so is his Pluto.
Thanks
It applies, but aspects via midpoint aren’t as strong as actual aspects.
We have Mars conjunct Mars and its in Scorpio.
The aspect is very tight.
How does this Synastry aspect tend to play out.
It depends on how each individual Mars fits in it’s own natal chart. If it’s problematic in either chart, you may have issues. Conjunctions aren’t all roses.
I am a woman and I keep falling for guys whose Moon aspects my Mars but they rarely like me back or act ambivalent about me. I wonder if it’s because guys are not comfortable being the Moon in the relationship. Do they even feel attracted?
I doubt that they aren’t comfortable with the Moon. There must be other factors in your relationship signature that cause you to choose partners who aren’t available.
I am Sag sun, Virgo moon, Leo asc. I seem to attract men with Sag Mars conjunct my sun, that also all have Mars square Pluto in their natal. These are the most intense sexual attraction aspects I’ve ever felt. They are just drawn into my world out of nowhere too it seems!
It’s typical to be attracted to energies that reflect your Sun. If you are also attracted to Mars/Pluto, there must be an element of Scorpio in your relationship signature.
After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked on the
-Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is
added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. Is there an easy method you can remove me from that
service? Appreciate it!
I believe there is a place to unsubscribe in the emails. Try unsubscribing. I will do what I can on this end.
Hi!
I recently meet this Blog and it’s amazing.
I love your way to think astrology, is so fresh and real. Excuse my english.
I have Venus, Mercury, Uranus and ASC In Scorpio. Sun, Moon and Pluto in Libra in 12h.
He has Pluto and Saturn in Scorpio, makes a square with his own Venus and Mars in Aquarius. He is a mess but I love him. His Moon is in Libra.
Both of us have Eros and Psyche in Aquarius.
I am obssesed. I am an addict to him.
I feel his Pluto burning my skin and his Saturn always bonding me. I am so happy with him, like a whisper, like a dream. I feel like I found something I had been lost. I never live this before.
I just can’t take him off of my mind.
He is so mutable.
He is Sag Sun and Virgo ascendant but with me he is jelousy and so much Plutonian.
You are right! The orbs depends how strong is natal.
And the conjunction it’s no easy.
Hahaha my Venus in 12h did its work.
We can’t be together.
You’re right in all.
Thanks for all.
I have moon/mars double whammy, mars opposite pluto double whammy with the guy I’m seeing, plus his mars conjunct my venus, and his saturn tightly conjunct my venus and it’s INTENSE. I always suspected Saturn was an important relationship planet as I had a LOT of sauturn squares and oppositions with my ex, and always found it an extremely frustrating relationship.