Synastry Studies. Forever after? “Is there anything in a synastry comparison that clues you into a relationship being particularly significant or have an important impact? I guess what I’m asking is- can you ever tell “Yes, this has potential to be a significant relationship” v.s. “This is probably going to remain distant/just a crush/etc.”

Thanks to Stephanie for bringing this up. This is probably the question most often asked of people who do synastry, and while I won’t be able to give you a simple answer I might be able to clarify a few things.

First of all, the short and popular answer is ‘No.’ All relationships have their own dynamics and there’s no way we can tell a ‘short’ one from a ‘long’ one. But then we all know I’m not inclined to short answers.

And, honestly, (and very few astrologers will tell you this) ‘no’ is not entirely true. The truth is that you can see the advent of a significant relationship, but this can only be done by a proper reading of progressions. The progressed chart is the only way we know if something serious is occurring between two people, and it will show up in both charts. Progressions signify long-term development and significant times/events, and a number of things need to be in place for an important relationship to show itself. Progressions show our readiness for a relationship to enter our lives, a time where we are ripe to join with another. We like to think that we’re ready for a serious relationship all the time, but the truth is that we aren’t. A lot of times, we’re meant to go it alone for a while. (I’m going to be teaching a series of lessons on interpreting relationship progressions later on this year; the first set of lessons on progressions is a prerequisite.) Progressions can also indicate the times we’re ready for less intense relationships to enter our lives.

Now, let’s define our parameters. If we’re talking about longevity, there is little way of knowing how long something will last. But relationships can be significant without being long term. There are also lots of long-term relationships that defy belief. People connect in very different ways, are stimulated by certain things, need different things from one another at different times. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that we fall in love at all.

Everyone knows the short answer to this question: for an important, long term relationship, we need Saturn contacts (any and many) combined with Sun/Moon in any array of combinations. The old rules still hold, but there are some new ones.

When we discuss these things, we have to bear in mind that we really know nothing about why these connections occur. We talk a lot about spirit and wholeness and growth and completion and whatnot, but it’s still a mystery. I once did a synastry that had absolutely no ‘normal’ contacts; they were both Aries and both had Pisces rising and that was about it, though they did have the infamous Saturn/Saturn opposition. They made each other nervous. They seemed completely unsuited. They shouldn’t have been able to stay together. But when I did the composite, I saw the ‘theme’–Jupiter was square the Nodes, and Chiron was conjunct the North Node. Back in the natals, there were double whammies for Jupiter and Chiron. These two were here to learn to be generous with one another, to expand one another’s lives, and to help each other heal. They were together for twenty years, until his death, and though the relationship was very unconventional, it worked for them, on a level that was acceptable to both. Their mutual generosity and mutual healing was the main theme of the synastry studies.

Significant (though not necessarily long term) relationships:

Nodes conjunct angles. Statistics say this is the major inter-aspect for marriage. I don’t know about that, but I do know that when one person’s spiritual struggles meet another person’s developmental struggles, there can be a long term developmental dance going on. Other aspects would have to tell the rest of the story.

Conjunctions or squares to the Nodes. Conjunctions: I’ve known you (SN) and we need to continue what we once had (for a time, at least). I don’t know you (NN) but I need you to help me figure out where I’m going. Squares tell me that this planet of yours, whatever it does in your chart, is something I need to understand before I can balance my North and South nodal inclinations. I will need it’s problems and its gifts.

Conjunctions to the anti-Vertex. Loving you will help me define my deepest self. There is a core relationship that goes beyond ordinary reality. It may be temporary, but it will not be forgettable.

Conjunctions to the soli-lunar midpoint. This planet of yours will help me move forward towards what I need to become. There is a lot of ‘heat’ around this conjunction, and we may be blinded for a time. This will be felt more by the person whose point it is.

Things to be suspicious of:

Lots of angle contacts, or contacts to the angle rulers, without much else to back them up, usually indicate a fascination. Lots of fizz and no form.

Outer planet transits should be viewed with a skeptical eye. They often brings relationships that are there for the duration of the transit. (Progressions are another matter.)

No significant outer planet inter-aspects to personal planets. No lessons to learn, painful or otherwise.

Heavy Uranus action. Fascination goes kaput.

No lunar or nodal contact. We have no purpose being together.

No significant Mars action. Could be all in the head. Especially when there is a lot of Moon/Mercury with no Mars to compensate. When we’re talking about connecting in any kind of conventional sense, Mars has to be in there somewhere. A lot of Internet relationships that don’t pan out are heavy Moon/Mercury and light on Mars/Saturn–even though they can be sexually stimulating, it’s all in the upper stratosphere.

Lack of mutuality. Chart A hits Chart B at sensitive points (angles, nodes, soli-lunar midpoint, Vertex angle) but it doesn’t happen in reverse. Chart B may be intensely affected by chart A, without it being mutual.

Not enough inner planet contact. Something ordinary has got to be going on with the relationship planets–Moon/Sun/Venus/Mars/Saturn–between the charts, and the more the better.

One person’s planets are significantly affected by the composite, and the other’s planets are not. The planet matters, too–particularly in the case of the composite Ascendant. I’ve seen more one-way obsessions with a person’s Sun or Moon or Venus or outer planet (if there are age differences) hitting the composite Ascendant than I care to remember. This is the single best use of the composite chart.

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