Dawn Bodrogi ✦ The Inner Wheel
We started this series discussing how we project qualities we feel we don’t own and how it influences our choice of partner. Both the sign on the 2nd house and the 12th indicate what we are looking for via the Descendant. This week, we’re going to get back to Synastry 101 and discuss what we do own and how it influences our choices.
A natal chart needs to be analysed for its relationship signatures before we can compare it to another chart for compatibility. Because if what I have to offer doesn’t fit your inner pattern of what a partner is, you will not consider me as a potential mate, no matter how many inter-aspects we have between our charts. This inner script of partnership determines for us who is a potential partner and who is not.
“If what I have to offer doesn’t fit your inner pattern of what a partner is, you will not consider me as a potential mate, no matter how many inter-aspects we have between our charts. This inner script determines who is partnership material and who is simply a friend.”
— Dawn Bodrogi
The Basics of the Internal Archetype
According to Jungian psychology, we each carry a male and a female archetype within us. This inner image of the other determines who we consider as partnership material. One of the great advantages of astrology is that it provides an illustration for that archetype — a map that gives us a shortcut to understanding our mysterious internal other half.
Traditionally, we take a look at Moon and Venus for men, and Sun and Mars for women, and add that to the sign on the Descendant and any planets there. Hard, tight aspects to Saturn and the outer planets will also affect choice — particularly conjunctions and squares. A man with Venus tightly bound up with Pluto will choose partners who bring him intense Plutonian experiences, for better or worse. A woman with Sun/Uranus may find herself attracted to intellectuals or constantly involved in long-distance relationships.
These inner scripts are set from birth. We may choose better partners as we learn about ourselves, but our basic inclinations to partnership will not change. A woman with Sun conjunct Pluto may evolve from choosing controlling partners to men who have a more positive expression of the Scorpio archetype — but the basic inclination to Pluto will remain.
the notion that Mars and the Moon are more primal and instinctual than the Sun and Venus seems very accurate and useful.
Mars is the hunter and its activity produces sustenance for the Moon – desire and hunger adhere to both . the “scripts” that are held by the 1 st and 4 th houses – Mars and the Moon – are perhaps more entrenched and can be impediments to true relating where we can see the other for who he or she really is – instead of who we want them to be…..
Yes, Moon issues and Mars issues are messier to deal with, frankly, for both sexes. There is a lot of projection for a start. There is a tendency for both sexes to see the partner as ‘mother’ and expect needs to be instantly fulfilled. Both sexes also project Mars. Passive aggressive behaviour is one product of projected Mars, for example. It’s more difficult for the primal planets to own their own behaviour, whereas there is a more rational approach where the Sun and Venus are concerned.
I’ve always been very curious how–as a gay man–to read the Venus/Moon or Mars/Sun combos in my chart to point to potential partner or what I am attracted to.
Any insight as to which takes precedence? I’ve always found those Jungian anima/animus archetypes limiting and old fashioned because I don’t know if I exist in that sort of dialectic (can you tell I’m an Aquarius?).
My moon is in Cancer so it’s very strong in my chart. My Venus and Mars have equal parts good and bad aspects and I have a 7th house sun. I often feel my chart is such a jumble I can’t quite get a good picture of what I should look for in a partner.
Hi Alejandro,
There’s no doubt that same sex relationships are a lot more complex in their interactions. You still have the same Moon/Venus/Mars/Sun dynamic, but it seems that it can shift from partner to partner and can shift from day to day within a relationship. Usually in any chart there are are planets that are dominant by sign, house and number of aspects. That planet would carry the overall signature, but it can change. Gay and bi-sexual people tend to identify more with all of the relationship planets, and the emphasis shifts depending on who you are with. One person may make you relate more in a Moon/Venus way, and another will emphasize your Sun/Mars. It’s interesting that Uranus is your ruling planet, as it tends to neutralize the sexual divide, making you more liable to relate to both sides of the archetypes.
Some things are universal, however. We all need partners who feed our lunar needs, no matter the sex. Your Cancer Moon requires nurturing, and you need to nurture in return. The sign on the cusp of the Descendant also tells us a great deal about what to look for in a partner–you may not necessarily be attracted to the sign itself (sometimes we are put off by our Descendants), but the qualities associated with that sign. Also, take a look at the house the Descendant ruler falls in, which will say a lot about what you require of a partner. (For example, Desc ruler in the second house means we need a partner who values and supports us; in the 11th house, we require a partner who is social and friendly). The sign on the cusp of the 12th house often gives us clues to what qualities we tend to project onto partners, qualities we need to become aware of and own in ourselves. Our eighth houses and our eighth house rulers say a lot about how we relate sexually, and what need in order to merge with another person. It tells us about our sexual style and what we need in bed.
I think, if you look at the house factors, it will give you a better idea of what kind of person will fulfill you in a partnership. The traditional masculine/feminine archetypes are important, but they aren’t everything.
Thanks so much for the clarification. It seems very much in line with my experience. Some men do click with my more nurturing Cancerian qualities, some click with other parts of my chart. Good to know.
My 7th house ruler (Uranus) is in my Libra 3rd house. Saturn is going to be transiting there in the next couple years. Will see what sort of relationship stuff gets kicked up. Saturn can be tough, but I find the transits incredibly dependable lesson-wise.
Now, off to my chart to examine :)
Hi I would like to know what does it mean a synastry chart when a person has Sun in Leo and Moon in Piscis and another person has the opposite, Sun in Piscis and Moon in Leo. Besides, the fist one has Venus in Virgo opposite to Moon in Piscis, and the second one has Venus in Aquarius and Moon in Leo (also opposite). Thanks.
Hi, Vicki. I wrote an article on the conjunction of the Sun and Moon in synastry which you can find here: https://theinnerwheel.com/2009/10/29/synastry-q-a-the-marriage-of-sun-and-moon/. In this case, with each one opposed by Venus, the union will challenge the value system of the Venus individual and possible cause it to alter its preferences. Questions will arise regarding the worth of the Self and the worth of the partnership. It may open new Vistas regarding taste–what things you do and don’t like. Much depends on the houses involved. Aspects don’t work in a vacuum, but involve themselves intimately with the function of the house they are in. That polarity will be emphasized.
Hello Dawn..!!
This article was really eye-opening for me. I have Saturn in 7th and I was once so much into someone who had an exact Sun conjunct Saturn and a virgo stellium.. We didn’t gel in the long term because I am mostly fire.
But I have one question.
I am very much attracted to Plutonian types too…in fact every guy I have been with has had more than average Pluto signatures( even that guy had sun-saturn in Scorpio).. But I have absolutely no other water planet in my chart..my pluto aspects poorly . Pluto in scorpio/4th is my ONLY water planet.
So do you think we are looking for qualities in people who play out our Singleton planets too?? Does it override the Descendant attraction? How would you explain them to be different??
One of the great truths in synastry is that, if we are missing an element in the chart, we are going to be attracted to those who embody that missing element. And the sad fact is that, even if we are attracted to them, we have a hard time getting along with them because we don’t ‘get’ them. Our soul is trying to understand that element via this other person, but it’s very difficult, and often both parties end up hurt and misunderstood.
The IC is a mysterious point and the 4th house a mysterious place. It represents what we hide from the world but it can also represent what we hide from ourselves. We have strong attractions to people who embody our 4th houses, especially because the 4th is where our personal power resides. You would attract Plutonian types in order to test and explore your own sense of power. Please read the articles I’ve written on the MC and Saturn as a Relationship planet in order to understand the 4/10 question in synastry.