Synastry Studies  ✦  Dawn Bodrogi  ✦  The Inner Wheel

“Is there anything in a synastry comparison that clues you into a relationship being particularly significant? Can you ever tell — yes, this has potential — versus this is probably going to remain a crush?”

— Stephanie

Thanks to Stephanie for bringing this up. This is probably the question most often asked of people who do synastry, and while I won’t be able to give you a simple answer I might be able to clarify a few things.

The short and popular answer is no. All relationships have their own dynamics and there’s no way to tell a short one from a long one. But then we all know I’m not inclined to short answers.

Progressions and Readiness

Progressions show our readiness for a relationship to enter our lives — a time where we are ripe to join with another. We like to think we’re ready for a serious relationship all the time, but the truth is that we aren’t. A lot of times, we’re meant to go it alone for a while.

If we’re talking about longevity, there is little way of knowing how long something will last. But relationships can be significant without being long term. People connect in very different ways, are stimulated by certain things, need different things from one another at different times. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that we fall in love at all.

Everyone knows the short answer: for an important, long-term relationship, we need Saturn contacts combined with Sun/Moon in any array of combinations. The old rules still hold, but there are some new ones.

When we discuss these things, we have to bear in mind that we really know nothing about why these connections occur. We talk a lot about spirit and wholeness and growth, but it’s still a mystery.

I once did a synastry that had absolutely no normal contacts — they were both Aries, both had Pisces rising, and that was about it, though they did have the infamous Saturn/Saturn opposition. They made each other nervous and seemed completely unsuited. They shouldn’t have been able to stay together.

But when I did the composite, I saw the theme — Jupiter was square the Nodes, and Chiron was conjunct the North Node. Back in the natals, there were double whammies for Jupiter and Chiron. These two were here to learn to be generous with one another, to expand each other’s lives, and to help each other heal. They were together for twenty years, until his death, and though the relationship was very unconventional, it worked for them. Their mutual generosity and mutual healing was the main theme.

Significant (Though Not Necessarily Long-Term) Contacts

Nodes conjunct angles. Statistics say this is the major inter-aspect for marriage. I don’t know about that, but when one person’s spiritual struggles meet another person’s developmental struggles, there can be a long-term developmental dance. Other aspects would have to tell the rest of the story.

Conjunctions or squares to the Nodes. Conjunctions say: I’ve known you (South Node) and we need to continue what we once had. Or: I don’t know you (North Node) but I need you to help me figure out where I’m going. Squares say: this planet of yours is something I need to understand before I can balance my nodal inclinations. I will need its problems and its gifts.

Conjunctions to the anti-Vertex. Loving you will help me define my deepest self. There is a core relationship that goes beyond ordinary reality. It may be temporary, but it will not be forgettable.

Conjunctions to the soli-lunar midpoint. This planet of yours will help me move forward towards what I need to become. There is a lot of heat around this conjunction, and we may be blinded for a time. This will be felt more by the person whose point it is.

Things to Be Suspicious Of

Lots of angle contacts without much else to back them up. Usually indicate a fascination. Lots of fizz and no form.

Outer planet transits viewed with a skeptical eye. They often bring relationships that are there for the duration of the transit. Progressions are another matter.

No significant outer planet inter-aspects to personal planets. No lessons to learn, painful or otherwise.

Heavy Uranus action with no lunar or nodal contact. Fascination goes kaput. We have no purpose being together.

No significant Mars action. Could be all in the head. A lot of internet relationships that don’t pan out are heavy Moon/Mercury and light on Mars/Saturn — even though they can be sexually stimulating, it’s all in the upper stratosphere.

Lack of mutuality. Chart A hits Chart B at sensitive points but it doesn’t happen in reverse. Chart B may be intensely affected by Chart A, without it being mutual.

Not enough inner planet contact. Something ordinary has got to be going on with the relationship planets — Moon, Sun, Venus, Mars, Saturn — between the charts, and the more the better.

One person’s planets significantly affected by the composite, the other’s not. I’ve seen more one-way obsessions with a person’s Sun or Moon or Venus hitting the composite Ascendant than I care to remember. This is the single best use of the composite chart.

Go deeper

The Foundations Book by Dawn Bodrogi

For a deeper understanding of how progressions, composite charts, and the full architecture of synastry work together — Dawn’s Foundations Book is the essential companion.

→ The Foundations Book — all ebook retailers

Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that we fall in love at all.