This is one of those inter-chart aspects no one talks about in synastry–the attraction of the Saturn/Saturn opposition between natal charts. It’s always been around, with couples, working partners, and friendships, but it seems to be more prominent than ever now. It’s turning up more and more in the synastry work I do, almost to the point where I can say it’s commonplace. Some of this is because the stigma of relationships with age differences has worn off, but I have a suspicion, from the couples work that I do, it’s because we’ve lost touch with Saturn somehow and now leave it to synastry to get us back in touch with him again. After all, Saturn is exalted in Libra.
By rights, a Saturn/Saturn opposition should repel. The two Saturns have 
opposite agendas. Saturn being the practical fellow that he is, he needs to accomplish concrete things according to the sign and house he appears in. Saturn opposite Saturn, logically, should have different goals. His sights would be set in opposite directions.
But it doesn’t seem to work that way. Saturn has a tendency to ‘hook’ what it can’t get on it’s own–perhaps more than any other planet, again due to his practical, ‘real life’ bent. A Saturn/Saturn opposition occurs when two people are born approximately 14 years apart. This would seem like a substantial chunk of time difference, which might throw up more hindrance than help when two people are trying to relate. Well, from the outside it might. From the inside, the couple doesn’t seem to notice it at all (at first). In fact, couples with Saturn in opposition are the most prone to that strange demon of romantic alliance, The Saturn Pull. As Liz Greene has pointed out, when it sees something it wants, Saturn can act like the most inflamed Mars. When Saturns are in opposition, what they want is their own completeness, which manifests as ‘other’ in a very concrete way. They will do anything, alter anything, to get nearer to this sense of wholeness.
Saturn/Saturn
How many of you remember what you were like at age 14? What were you like emotionally, how did you feel about yourself? This is the time of the first Saturn opposition to itself, often the most difficult, because we’re utterly inexperienced at this kind of tearing. Often it’s a time of raw pain, of feeling inadequate, of wanting to be treated like an adult but having the responses of a child–not to mention the raving hormones of a body trying to grow into itself (Saturn is connected to the lunar cycle). We hate ourselves and we hate the world, we blame our parents for bringing us into the world (Saturn/Moon of course). Most of all, we begin the painful process of growing into what we know, deep inside, we need to become.
This happens during the opposition because Saturn is conjunct it’s own polarity point. It gets its first sense of what its duties and lessons are, about what it needs to be and do. It also knows that, right now, it’s entirely inadequate, in terms of life experience. The knowledge of how far we have yet to go can often be depressing, and is a big part of the Saturn cycle. Yet still we take our first faltering steps towards responsible maturity. As we move on with Saturn, particularly at those times when it squares, opposes and conjuncts itself, the lessons get easier or we bear them better. But as always with Saturn, because he is so reality bound and so attached to time itself, we learn our lessons slowly and sometimes we skive off and miss them altogether.
When a planet lands on its own polarity point, the ripeness for projection is immense. Oppositions often repel and disassociate before they begin cooperating. Using the example of the 14 year old during the Saturn opposition, rejection (parents, authority figures, the ‘demands’ of the world and daily life) is two-fold. On the one hand, we are defining ourselves by declaring what we will never be or become, often embracing the things that differentiate us from our families and our day to day environment. On the other, we often rebel by refusing to acknowledge some of the unavoidable elements of living–growing older, making committments and taking responsibility for one’s life. As Buffy the Vampire Slayer, font of all wisdom, has said, “The hardest thing in life is just living in it.” (Buffy understood Saturn. Sarah Michelle Gellar was born under Aries, but it’s often mentioned in the series that Buffy’s birthday is January 19, 1981. If you put up a noon chart for Los Angeles for that day, you get a very Buffy-appropriate chart, with Chiron prominent.) From this opposition point, which represents the first ‘full moon’ of Saturn and the beginning of our conscious action, we lope into adulthood.
When the 14-15 year difference appears in a relationship, we are brought back to this earlier reject/embrace dynamic. Each person comes to represent for the other all that we need to be, do, and learn. Being on the polarity point gives it a certain potency, particularly in a sexual relationship. It is potent, and it is mutual. The Saturn/Saturn opposition can have a lot of staying power–it may not be a pleasant stay, but it will stick because the couple are involved in an elaborate dance of growth, responsibility, and mutual recognition. Saturn love stays active when lessons are being learned, and the Saturn/Saturn opposition gives it a lot of fodder. This aspect does not tend to disintegrate from familiarity, like Saturns conjunct, or get tired of the fight like Saturn square Saturn. The danger is that it sometimes continues out of mutual feelings of responsibility when calling it a day might be more appropriate. Saturn opposite Saturn can fall into a stalemate.
Whatever the couple has left behind during their individual Saturn development will come to the fore in the Saturn-opposition relationship. Whether this is a good thing or not (and whether or not they have the maturity to handle it) depends on each person’s relationship to his or her own Saturn. Each Saturn will have to be analyzed. I have no mathematical data on this, but from my observation problematic Saturns tend to attract strong Saturns. Someone with a strong Saturn in the 10th house, supported by trines and sextiles, will seem heaven-sent to a Saturn besieged by squares and buried in the 12th. Often the dominant Saturn will have a strong feeling that something is owed to the partner, and often the strong Saturn is surprised at the neglected pockets of growth that get turned out as the relationship blossoms. The strong 10th house Saturn may have careened through life in pursuit of a career, never encountering the family responsibilities that crop up as part of his partner’s Saturn falling into his fourth house.
Inevitably, and efficiently, the Saturn opposite Saturn relationship will cause us to face our fears, avoidance, blockages and irresponsible actions. There can also be a lot of inner and outer accomplishment, with Saturn mutually providing practical advice and support. If we’re in the Saturn opposition relationship, we need to be prepared for the raw exposure of our failings. Unlike the ‘ripped to the bone’ feeling that Pluto contacts can bring, Saturn simply supplies us with a laundry list of our inadequacies. Fortunately, this goes both ways, and can help us balance not only our Saturn duties, but the rest of the chart as well. When the Saturn opposition works well, we can have a loyal help mate and a true partner as well as a lover.
The danger of Saturn opposite Saturn comes when we don’t evolve on our own, but let our partners live out our Saturn for us. Then we remain closed to our own growth, the stalemate creeps in, the opposition tears, and we are left to hook our Saturn/Saturn issues on another victim. Saturn will not be ignored, and must be dealt with in a practical, real-life way. It’s possible (but not desirable) to let others live out our other planetary energies, but not Saturn, the planet of personal responsibility. Ignoring our responsibility to ourselves often leads the relationship to a quick demise. Embracing and emulating the positive Saturn qualities we see in our partners can provide the relationship with a strong core of well being.
I’d like to hear if others have seen a rise in this aspect in the past few years. It seems to me that it’s all over the place.
Very nice article, i have this aspect with a female and it’s like a push-pull effect, although it seems to go nowhere when you decide to let go, then something happens and the journey continues. We both have saturn retrograde in natal charts, i have it on 5th in cancer and she has it on 1st in capricorn. My saturn is placed on her 7th and hers on my 11th house. I cannot understand how this works but it works !!! Any further insight would be helpfull…
With Saturn retrograde, the focus tends to be on what you haven’t been given in life, what you have to work for on your own. When two Saturn retrogrades partner up like this, you can help one another in your goals of inner strength and individuality. Saturn demands that we become authentic in our lives, that we follow the dictates of our inner being in our practical, day to day existence. Saturn retro causes us to focus inwards on this–with the opposition, you have a partner to help you in your awareness.
a long time female friend with what i’d call a strong and mature Saturn ( a Sun Saturn conjunction in Capricorn – she raised three healthy daughters as a single parent -) at 50 just found herself drawn into a relationship with a guy in his mid 30s.
her Saturn is on his NN while his Virgo Moon Pluto is on her NN. he is searching for the missing pieces of his Saturn developement while she is reaching for all that lies beyond the confines of Saturn.
i think individuality – wherever it is open and receptive – is being accelerated towards wholeness……
That’s an interesting mix. Saturn on someone’s NN is very attractive at first, but has a danger of becoming too demanding. It’s difficult to let the node person just be and make their own mistakes. Virgo Moon/Pluto is no picnic, either, and can be very rigid. They will both need to learn to tread lightly and back off a little.
It sounds like both their NN, Saturn are in Earth signs + the trine between her Sun+ Saturn in Cap and His Moon and Pluto in Virgo (even with wide orbs, luminaries can “see” and “get” each other. That is definitely a solid ground for the development of this relationship. Wishing them the best!
I just saw that I am 11 years late with this response, lol! If you – the original poster – are still around – do yiu mind posting what happend with this couple?
Very enlightening article!
I was wondering which orb you admit in an opposition between two outer planets in synastry?
My Saturn is Rx in X (in Pisces, and heavily challenged by a cunjunct to Chiron and Lilith, opposed a conjunction Pl/Ura/Mars in IV in Virgo, trigone a conjunct Merc/Nept in Scorpio in V – I know, it’s tough !). My Saturn is at 22° pisces…
My partner (very recent ex in fact, due to the formation of the coming T-Square!), has a cazimi Sun/Sat at 0° libra – which would be a 8 degrees difference – too much for considering the opposition? (We are 14 years difference).
I should add that having both the cusp of I in Cancer (and thus the VII in Capricorn, at the same degree), Saturn is a major factor in both our charts, especially in synastry… Given this parametra, should we admit a bigger orb? Or on the opposite, due to the incompatibility of elements (water/air) reduce the orb?
Thanks for your blog and your insight!
What degree of orb to allow is something that comes from experience, and something that develops as your skill in astrology develops. I allow more for the Sun and the Moon, and for anything ruling an angle if I’m looking at something relating to that angle. So yes, in your case, with both of you having Saturn rule the Descendant, this Saturn/Saturn opposition is well within orb. We have to remember that orbs are like waves–they increase power as they apply to exact, and decrease as they separate. But a planet that carries weight in a chart will make a bigger wave, begin from further away and continue its influence a bit longer.
And no, the incompatibility of elements doesn’t lessen the impact. Have a look at my post on Trickster aspects: http://alcuin9.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/the-chart-workshop-trickster-aspects/
Thank you Dawn, it is very nice of you to have taken the time to reply and help me understand better. I truly appreciate it.
I must say that all you describe about the saturn saturn opp is right what I felt (and lived) with this person – for the best and the worst.
Spontaneously, one tends to imagine that this opposition can bring some repulsion and some complementarity at the same time, but what is perticularly striking in your description is this : “the Saturn opposite Saturn relationship will cause us to face our fears, avoidance, blockages and irresponsible actions”. Saturn doesn’t forgive weakness and over indulgence, and a relationship based on such opposition requires some work for give its best.
And you’re also right about the fact that, once overcome, the relationship can probably provide the best support for both the partners.
It is a very important article for me to put in words what I felt without the experience to point the problem (astrologically speaking.)
Once again, thanks for your great work.
(Ps : sorry for my English, I am French).
Hello there,
The most informative article out there. Thank you very much. I ‘m a leo at 21 degrees conjunct saturn in 10th house. My hopefully future partner has his moon in leo 21 degrees. His Saturn is in 21 degrees Aquarius. I don’t know his house placements. Well, whatever you’re saying is true. I feel inadequate at times, like this teenager(I’m almost 43, he’s almost 57)I feel as if I owe him something, and I feel quilty or at fault. On the other hand, he seems to feel inadequate more than I do. He also seems to be punishing me for my youth, well compared to him. The push and pull is there. Yet the rewards seem to have escaped. We only went out on a few dates, so I blamed the miscommunication. But now I’m starting to question the validity of such a bond. If you have any inputs I would hugely appreciate it. Also, I have already corrected many behaviours in myself, due to this so far brief dalliance. Best regards…
Ibotti,
Je peux parler en Francais un peu; mais je suis certain que votre Anglais est plus, plus, mieux que ma Francais.
I don’t think Saturn/Saturn is ever ‘finished.’ I think both partners go on to test one another, as long as the relationship lasts. They break when one or the other doesn’t want the testing any more.
Dawn
Hey Dawn,
was nice to reply in French (and it worked !)
I assume you’re right about the never ending work imposed by Saturn/Saturn, (I can’t tell since the relationship ended too early, thanks to my own saturn :-).
Hello,
I must say that I have a very hard relationship with my men. But it goes and never ends. I have a feeling,that we should stay together and work at ourselves.
We also have Saturn in opposition.The orbis is 8 grades. Mine is retrograd at 29 Leo and his is direct at 7 Pisces. My Saturn is in my 7 th house and his 10 th house. His Saturn is in his 4 th house and mine 1st house.
It seems to me relevant that mine ascendant and his 4th house are in Conjunction.His Sun is in Conjunction with his Saturn and opposing my Saturn, and making a Square to my Moon. Also his Saturn is making a square to my moon. His moon(in Saggitarius) and my moon(in Gemini) are in opposition-orbis of 4 Degrees.
What do you think of that combination?
Dorjian,
There isn’t any way I could possibly comment on your Saturn opposition, which is quite wide, without knowing both charts. If you think this goes on with all of your men, then we would have to examine Saturn’s place in your natal chart and how it relates to the relationship planets. If you keep on attracting partners whose Saturn is prominent in your own chart, this is telling me that the issue is within you and you must start getting to grips with your own Saturn, and stop learning about it through partnerships. Saturn is often the best thing between charts, if we use it wisely. Good luck.
i was wondering if the saturn opposition can be responsible for an on/off relationship?
Hello, Bea–
Any opposition between charts is prone to on/off. This is because person A’s planet will fall on the polarity point of person B’s planet, and is showing the planet precisely what it needs to learn in order to develop. Unfortunately, it is sometimes difficult to embrace those lessons, particularly where Saturn is concerned. Although I don’t associate Saturn particularly with on/off (not like Uranus), a lot of us are reluctant to embrace our maturity. The Saturn opposition would more likely manifest as on/off in a younger couple. A more mature couple would be more likely to embrace the challenges.
I had a stroke on Feb 20, 2010. Saturn square mars and saturn opp saturn were both transiting during this time. In my chart Saturn is retrograde in Aries. I am fine now, I am back to work after 6 weeks and it is almost as if the stroke never happened. My concern is that both Saturn square Mars coming up Aug 24, 2010 (I have a terrible headache today Aug 23) and Saturn Opp Saturn coming up in September. I am afraid of having another stroke.
DOB is 10/27/1967 8:12a.m. in St. Joseph, Michigan.
Hello, Taaidup
I’m sorry about your health issues and I understand your fears. Unfortunately, I’m not a medical astrologer and even if I were, it would be unethical for me to comment without examining your entire chart thoroughly. This cardinal T-square has been difficult for a lot of people, health-wise. The only thing I can advise you to do is to think about what is blocking your progress, spiritually. If you focus on how you can move forward in your life, it will give you strength and peace of mind.
Thank you for the enlightening article. I’m sure you already know this, but it’s hard to find any in-depth discussion about this particular aspect in synastry. I’m glad to find such well-articulated thoughts.
I have to confirm with you that the stalemate present in saturn opp. saturn is a helluvalot to deal with. I’ve been involved with a Gemini Saturn opp. my Sag Saturn; we’ve been together for three years and going. During this time, when we make progress (very apparent early on our relationship), we MAKE PROGRESS. When there’s an argument, however, things stay absolutely still for a few days, sometimes even weeks. I’ve come to term this effect as the spiral of ‘action-reaction’.
Most apparent in any argument, we both wait for the other to make the move. We both believe the other should make the move; it’s always the other person’s responsibility to act. Very immature on both our parts; but in the end, we both give in and grow up on the particular argument (that, and we would miss each other too much). When we encourage each other and help each other grow, however, this action-reaction spirals our growth exponentially.
This effect pervades most of our interaction, our decisions, and even life path. One of the interpretations I read says saturn opp. saturn involves two people with very different life agendas. They grow the most when they’re apart, but find attraction toward each other. While I hate to say it, this is mostly true (so far anyways). He’s already in the playing field while I have to go back to school for a higher degree, and in a different part of the country. I found that while we do help each other grow leaps and bounds when we’re together, we also stymied each others’ growth in other areas. We both felt bound, but found little else we could do except I get my degree and he further establishes himself. We both feel like we still have some growing up to do, and even then, unsure how things will turn out.
Despite how negative this sounds and how uncommitted we seem (do we have a label? no), I have no doubt on our faithfulness to each other. It’s one of those relationship where you’re not feeling bound because you’re stuck in it like a silly mistake, but you’re bound because you feel like the other person has missing parts of you, further confirming what you wrote in the article.
Thank you for sharing this. These are very typical behaviours when Saturn opposite Saturn is involved in a synastry. I’m not sure about growing more when you’re apart; Saturn doesn’t really block growth by being in opposition, it encourages it by challenging old patterns. You may feel more free when you’re apart, without that Saturn pull, but the challenges that you face together should make you more aware of what you need to do to move forward.
Yes, this is what I have with my Saturn opposite relationship. It’s definitely not a traditional spend 24/7 with each other situation but an amazing coming together followed by a feeling of needing to withdraw, especially on his part,
“Being on the polarity point gives it a certain potency, particularly in a sexual relationship. It is potent, and it is mutual………… The danger is that it sometimes continues out of mutual feelings of responsibility, when calling it a day might be more appropriate. Saturn opposite Saturn can fall into a stalemate.”
What’s so surprising about this is that it becomes sexually addictive. We call it off because we can’t stand each other’s heavy demands to be “this” or “that”. Then we fall into a stalemate – no communication, no contact, but nobody’s going anywhere too. A single phone call…enough to dissolve the stalemate…then like clockwork we continue where we left off, even more intense than the last time. Two Saturns turning into two inflamed Mars…the dance of the fireballs. Do I ever see it coming to a real end? Not really.
The interesting thing about Saturn is that he always has an agenda. He wants you to learn whatever you came together to learn, and he will compel you to be together until the lessons are complete, or you’ve gone as far as you can go with it in this lifetime. People are often surprised at how sexual Saturn can be, but he rules an earthy sign and can match Mars in intensity. And yes, it’s very difficult to break up a relationship that’s Saturn-bound. It tends to feel ‘wrong’ even if it’s the right decision.
So true. Breaking up is like going against “the law”. Everytime I do try to walk away, I get physically sick and demotivated – the effect in my daily life is instantaneous. But really there’s nothing so special about this guy except that he embodies everything I wanna be and have. Even if it is wrong, there is a “rightness” about being together. On our own, each of us are mountains of strength and self-control, both have strong Saturns natally, except that we can’t stand each other’s presence for long and yet can’t stand being far from each other in certain periods. Frequent spaces do seem to work. I sometimes think it’s a curse. And it doesn’t help that our Saturns also square each other’s Venus. Sometimes I feel that I have found my “inmate” for life.
hmmm…saturn/saturn opposition (me cap; his cancer); his venus in sag with my venus/uranus in leo; my sun/pluto virgo with his sun/venus sag. no wonder i feel like i’ve been left for dead on the side of the road every time we part.
Very insightful – my partner and I have this in our synastry (he’s 14 years my senior) & one of the dominant theme in our relationship is for me to becomes fully responsible for my own action & surrender to my inadequacies. Being a strong Sagittarius this is especially tough but I am getting better everyday. Should you like further information I am happy to provide.
With Saturn/Saturn there are lessons on both sides. I’d be curious to know what you think his lessons are.
I’ve had this with two men, who were both 14 years my senior. First time I was 19, and too young to appreciate Saturn’s lessons. It was very painful and I had to get away from it. Now that I’m 26, and I would gladly take Saturn lessons, but this time the man is a bit reluctant, even though he is 40. I have learned a lot from both of them, and it has been very beneficial and stabling for my otherwise very freedom-loving personality (Sun/Uranus conj. in Sagittarius).
ater 10th dec 2010 i call back to my BF on 25th jan 2011. i dint talk while this period cause i felt um unnecessarily involving in this matter( relationship) but thn i call him back & heard the news that his engaged i hurt.by thn felt that i really love him but now there’s nothing left…. now . Does it effects of saturn retrograde cause i call him same day when this retrograde takes plce?
When Saturn goes stationary before a retrograde, it puts Saturn under a pressure cooker. We’re forced to go inwards and make difficult decisions, which then get release when Saturn starts moving again, no matter the direction. The retrograde releases a pattern which was ready to change. Sorry.
I hope this thread is not dead!
I read this article with great interest. I have met a man 14 yrs my junior and am crazy about him. Not so sure how he feels but he keeps coming around. 🙂 The real kicker in this is that my NN is exactly conjunct my Saturn (2nd house Aries) thus putting my SNode on his Saturn. In addition, (yup there is more) this axis is exactly conjunct his MC/IC axis, and his Part of Fortune is exactly conjunct his IC. The picture is a a mass of conjunctions, all within 1 degree. Scared half to death of this? You bet, but damned if I can keep myself away from him. Any insight would be helpful!
Hi, Kari–Nothing goes dead around here, if I can help it. It’s complicated, talking about conjunctions to Nodes in synastry because a lot has to do with the condition of the planets in the natal chart and the part they play in the nodal ‘story.’ I have written an article specifically on the conjunctions of the Nodes to the angles, and there are a couple of articles about the nature of the conjunction. You also may want to invest some time in reading the 4 part series I’ve written on MC/IC contacts and the role Saturn plays in relationships. Sorry to send you to the archives when things are so intense for you, but I’ve written quite a bit on just your particular issues with this person, so I think you’ll find the articles very helpful.
reading this made so much sense. my partner and i are saturn opposed and sun opposed, him being scorpio with saturn in taurus and me being a taurus with saturn in scorpio. wow what a journey its been the past few years.. deep deep stuff bought to the surface, traumas buried deep in painful places rearing their heads and id always prided myself on stalking my psychology and thoughts! i was so humbled. lol but still we havent been able to get rid of each other and after 3 years of living together we still have so much to say to each other! anyway id never experienced that kind of purging and insight with other partners closer to my age. thanks for the confirmation!
Thank you for sharing this, Celia. It will give hope to all the other Saturn couples out there.
This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you!
I was trying to pinpoint which of my parents rules my 4th and 10th houses. This is slightly complicated because of my family situation. Long story short: my babysitter took me in when I was 7 rather than have me in foster care and after my Dad died I lived with her permanently.
I have Saturn in Capricorn with a death grip on my MC and didn’t really see my guardian as that much of a disciplinarian, (although she definitely wears the pants in the family.) I decided to do our synastry and found her Saturn has a death grip on my IC. I was very confused by it until I read your article.
She definitely latched onto me and gave me a home. I know I can always depend on her. If my natal Saturn opposite my IC represents a lack in that house than her Saturn filled it.
However, she has gone against my 10H Saturn’s need for self-reliance because she never really taught me any life skills. When I was 13 I told her I wanted to boil water and she got very nervous and joked that I’d burn the house down. So, yeah. She hasn’t exactly given me a lot of confidence but we’re working on that (Saturn again!) I’m living at home now while I finish college and she’s been giving me more responsibility (grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, ect.) which makes me feel good.
A danger of this aspect may be one person relying on the others Saturn without claiming their own. Recently she has shown me how to manage my own bankbook, but only after after I pestered her. I had to take responsibility because I know she’d “never get around to it.” I guess this is the kind of rut you were talking about.
I’m beginning to see how important this planet is in relationships. One of my favorite movies is Lilo and Stitch, which is actually full of Saturn themes: “Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.” Never underestimate that.
And thanks to whoever read all that!
Thank you, Andie. This is a wonderful illustration of the way Saturn can work in a non-romantic relationship.
Very illuminating article. But I have a question regarding too much Saturn in Synastry:
This man I have been seeing has a heavy Saturn influence in his chart: conj Sun, square Moon, sesquisquare Mars. I do as well, to an extent: opposing my Mercury and Mars and conj. my Pluto. Together in Synastry, his Sun is in the midst of a tug-of-war with our Saturns, plus my Saturn narrowly squares his Moon and semi-squares his Mars. Essentially, I reactivate all the Saturn problems he has in his own chart. I was considering walking away from him, because I don’t think he can overcome a double dose of heavy Saturn like that. He’s a little nervous around me, and it’s hard to get him to open up about anything.
Sadly though, Saturn interaspects are binding, and we are quite attached. It was only after doing research on Saturn in Synastry did I consider giving up on our budding romance. I would appreciate some advice in that regard. Is it possible to overcome all that Saturn?
It’s not only possible, but in a spiritual sense, it’s necessary. Saturn represents the things we must do and learn in this lifetime. It’s not about things we can put off, but things we must confront. If we run away from Saturn, he will only come back to knock on our door harder during the next 7 year cycle. Saturn is all about maturity and taking responsibility. When other people’s planets make aspects to our Saturn, it’s a bit like being nagged about things you know you need to do. Maybe, if you’re a very firey or airy type, you won’t like this much, and Saturn will feel very oppressive. In this case you may leave for a less ‘heavy’ relationship. We all have choices. But you will confront Saturn one day, no matter what.
I would much rather cope with a heavy Saturn relationship than one which is dominated by Uranus, Neptune or Pluto. At least you know where you stand with Saturn, and if the relationship is otherwise healthy Saturn may bestow favours on you which you never thought possible. Saturn usually rewards us for work well done, which is not always the case with the other planets.
Hi Dawn,
This is a fascinating article and a lot more informative than simply being told my saturn-opposition-saturn is a negative aspect.
My partner and I are 15 years apart and while we have very different life agendas oddly they have worked out SO FAR. I am younger pursuing an academic career and he is an older artist. I have problems in my family life, relationship to parents, that he is making me face. I am also constantly challenging his own beliefs. We have both been deceitful, yet both reacted staying convinced that if the other person admits wrong and “learns”, we will stay. Maybe some serious confrontations and emotional stand offs, but always staying.
What is interesting is any past hardships we value a lot and it’s made us feel quite resilient. But any unresolved issues we know we must face are silent forms of torture we are bidding to confront and resolve.
Thank you for this contribution. It’s a perfect working example of the opposition in action.
Thank you for answering me. I hope you don’t mind my continuing this discussion. I’m so glad to hear from another Astrologer on this.
The man I referred to in my first post is a Taurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Virgo Asc. I blame the heavy Saturn influence for his almost complete inability to open up to me. He has no trouble talking about me, or about sex (his Venus-Mars trine is free of Saturnine influence). But about anything deeper than that, his expression is stifled. I see emotion in his eyes, but it never really goes beyond them.
You are right about Saturn “hooking” what it doesn’t have. I think both our Saturns did that. I am a free-spirited Aries, and I admire his emotional discipline. He admires my openness and my forthright attitude. But unless he opens up to me, we cannot have a functional relationship.
I mentioned how my Saturn activates the Saturn in his chart. Well it works the other way, too. His Saturn, in Aries, activates the major 5th/11th house oppositions in my chart.
Since Saturn has entered my 5th house two years ago, I’ve had to learn some pretty hard romantic lessons, all of which culminated in me terminating those relationships. Saturn is so close to a Return in my chart now; maybe this is the final lesson. I’m just not sure if it’s a “let-go” lesson or a “work it out, be patient” lesson.
Hi Dawn, lovely site as usual. Still living off this Saturn opposition relationship to this day. I guess, I’m just ‘locked’ into position with this guy as far my identity is concerned. I’d like to point out that we have control issues, one that we utterly hate in each other, but ones that we try our best to discuss and reason out with. The flight response is gone, after having realised for sometime that neither of us can easily walk away. So we grit our teeth and weather it out. In the first two years together, he’s the one with the shorter fuse, walking away in the slightest differences, but back again in less than 48 hours. Lately however, I’m the one who’s manifesting the ‘walking away, back in 24 hours’ mode. The loyalty and fidelity is fiercely there however. We hate each other’s controlling ways, yet we can’t stand being with anyone else but each other.
Clearly, we recognized the need to to identify the need for pressure valves in the relationship – and no it’s not sex. It is mutually agreed time to be away from each other for at least 2 days; no communication, no interfering with each other’s work. These are our mini-break ups. When we start missing each other, that’s around 3 days, then the sex part becomes fantastic. And so the cycle continues; crazy cycle I mean!
Clearly each of us has reached our wit’s end during the course of the relationship over the years but then everytime we actually tried to split, we just find excuses to be together again. Meanwhile, our credibility towards each other suffers, until we simply agreed recently to stay with each other. regardless how daunting the future would be (read: endless control issues).
Hi Dawn, Great Blog. I’m (almost) involved in a Saturn opposition and this (almost) relationship has been going on for years. Me and my “Almost” frequent the same local hang out and every time we encounter one another we eye lock into our own little space in the cosmos. We became friends and still projected our sexual tension, but never acted on our desires. (my Pluto in his first house, his in my 8th house, also my moon conjunct his North node, his venus conjunct my North Node. My Ascendant is conjunct his Descendent). I finally got fed up and stop going to the hang out for years. Neither one of us seemed to have the guts to make the first move. Recently, I’ve gone back to the hang out and there he was with same love struck look on his face, a little hurt by my absence but still happy to see me. It’s an Aries-Libra Saturn Opposition, I have the Saturn in Aries. I know I probably should just lay all of my cards on the table, but I actually feel physical pain when I think of being rejected by him if I’m wrong. This relationship feels, “meant to be.”
So my question is.. If you avoid a Saturn opposition relationship, will there just be another in it’s place down the road?
Is this something I should unveil?
With Saturn, there is often an initial hesitancy. This hesitancy is often dogged by the fact that two people keep meeting up again and again. When Saturn wants something, it doesn’t let go, so you can imagine when two Saturns are involved. Wherever Saturn is, we have fear. Fear that must be conquered by practical experience. If you avoid this relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean you will have another one just like it, but it’s certain that your Saturn issues will come up in later relationships. In a way, Saturn/Saturn forces the issue, and cuts the lesson time in half.
Thought I’d jump in here – I thought fear was represented by Pluto?
I decided to terminate the relationship with the Saturn person I was seeing. I felt it simply wasn’t going anywhere. We’re both hurt, to be sure, but we remain friends.
In looking at my Saturn in my own chart, it sits in my 5th house, and I’ve had many “Saturnine” romances. In one case, Saturn was opposite the composite Sun of one of my exes and I (in Synastry, his Saturn almost formed a sextile with my Venus, while my Saturn was in the same sign as his Venus). In another, boyfriend’s Sun was tightly conjunct my Saturn. Saturn has figured quite prominently in all my relationships. I was deeply afraid that the last relationship I was pursuing would go nowhere, causing me to waste a lot of time (Saturn, hehe) and maybe even pass up some better opportunities. Of course, maybe one day our friendship will make my Saturn man finally open up and let go of his past wounds. We shall see. As the saying goes, to be continued….
Great article. I am madly in love with a Scorpio man whose Saturn in sag opposes my Saturn in Gemini. My cancer sun falls in my ninth house and I always seem to have some heavy sag energy in my romantic partners chart (my last relationship of ten years was with a sag). We certainly our pushing each other, but it feels super positive and exciting perhaps because our charts our full of trines and sextiles in other configurations. His moon trines my sun in piesces although mine opposes his sun in Taurus. He believes I am his emotional teacher, I have been utilizing our friendship and now love relationship as an exercise in recovering from codependency. My rinsing is in Scorpio as is my Jupiter , my Venus in cancer, he’s mostly Scorpio. Karmic work feels easy and beautiful with him, and the sex is without description
What a golden article, i haven’t bumped in such a good read for ages ! Looking out to browsing your archive 😀
Kudos & cheers ! ~
I dated someone whose Leo Saturn which fell in my 10th house and opposed my 4th house Aquarius Saturn. This aspect was interesting to experience and helped me to evolve. I’m the older woman, age 50, a successful therapist. He was a highly responsible/professional, and yet showed up frequently late….. sometimes an hour late for our dates, sometimes canceling, giving needing to work as his reason. My lessons revolved around reclaiming my self-respect and easing my deep seated emotional frustration/disappointment/victim feelings. I was aware that although a man can be top of his career game, he might not show the same consciousness in showing up as a partner. There was a deep attraction, soulmate perhaps, so this was confusing as love was certainly there. Yet, I knew I needed to move on, as his choice was his career. I am someone who is highly conscious about showing up in my relationships on time and here was someone who was highly self-involved… when I tried to communicate to him how frustrating it was to be kept waiting. I wondered how I could be receiving such disregard. He never made apologies for this. In the end it was an obvious parting of ways I needed to make. His choice was his career, however sad for me. I did feel I could have worked this opposition out, but it would have involved “training” the younger man to empathize w/me and to schedule his time properly. But, I intuited that this Saturn lesson was not my problem to solve, but his to learn eventually on his own.
I’d like to add that sometimes I truly believe the co-dependency issues are best dealt with by giving oneself the respect/tenderness and love that the other cannot give. I enjoy taking care of myself until my self-love is such that I can draw a partner who can match it…sans the co-dependent. I do know there’s always some challenge which will test me as Saturn does, yet while dating I find myself wanting to be cautious about the karma I choose to engage and to learn to be the best Saturnian person I can be to everyone in my life until I find the Saturn lesson that I can manage okay.
I really liked this relay as it delved into this oft dreaded syn aspect to explain the worthy particulars. So much for the 15 – 16 yr age difference … But the opp allows for more relation I think more than the square, which tends to stop, for me, alot of things.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
First came this opposition in my life, confusing my senses, and then I find this article explained through Buffy!
The words can not explain my happiness!
You are a star! 🙂
I have saturn conjunct moon in aquarius in the 7th house and my partners saturn is in his 12th house conjunct my ascendant opposing my saturn-moon. my approach to authority of saturn has been rebellious and challenging- my moon-saturn square my sun-pluto, and his saturn is in the hidden 12th house.. our relationship is heavy and addictive…”I don’t think Saturn/Saturn is ever ‘finished.’ I think both partners go on to test one another, as long as the relationship lasts. They break when one or the other doesn’t want the testing any more.” i so agree. certainly learnt a lot. any thoughts on better integration of saturns ?
It’s difficult to integrate two Saturns, because Saturn is an intensely personal thing in the chart. We’re sensitive around our Saturn, vulnerable. It’s where we shore up our defense mechanisms. We’re easily hurt there. Also, each Saturn has its own particular ‘story’ depending on its aspects. Saturn represents what we need to accomplish in a concrete way in this lifetime, and the Saturn ‘story’ is how we go about that. When Saturn is op Saturn, it may seem as if we are on very individual roads. However, polarity is the key. Each Saturn must learn lessons regarding the sign opposite, and the partner can be a wonderful teacher in that respect, because they have already done the work to some extent. On the other hand, if a person is clueless about his/her Saturn and does not accept maturity or authority, they will not be helpful in the least, unless by negative example.
i was wondering… about how we’d be affected. Right now she teaches me. and i love her very dearly. (i should like to keep her someday if she’d let me)
she and I both have our opposing saturns in our 11th house.
both saturns are kinda closer to the twelfth house, but not close enough to be in it.
mine is saturn/virgo, hers is saturn/pisces
in the same house, i have jupiter sitting kinda close, but again, not close enough to conjunct.
her saturn does appear to be conjunct her chiron (poor kid)
and… well, aside from that… if there’s any kind of “what not to do” that’s glaring and should be noted i guess. I want to support her. she’s been an amazing rock for me. even though we meet very seldomly.
My Saturn Opp relationship started during my
first Saturn return 12 years ago. I wasn’t interested/ready/
evolved….noticed depth, warmth, kinship but no
sparks. Well…now grown up (sorta) we reconnect
last fall and have on again off again vibe.
He actually helped me get sober, indirectly as was so
taken by this magnetism now and knew he was
Clean/sober 24 years. Compelled me to take a final
Look at the drinking. Agreed with others here we can’t
seem to stay away, even though my mind says this
Is childish behavior “over for good” this time, I’ve learned to
just allow the parting. Conscious iof not allowing a resentment
linger as he seems to be the one in fear and pulls the plug.
Someone mentioned credibility haha…. Yes. No one takes us seriously, yet I’m very afraid each time deep down. Standoff has started. And I’m aching to hear his voice. Obsessive even.
We have OPP moons and conjunction Venus/Mars moon…my Venus OPP his moon.
We are close tho. Bonded….feel deep down its not over but part of me feels relief as well as deep torment over any long absences. “Hooked”…. Then swing from deep love and compassion to bitter resentment. Which may explain the opposition.
Anyway- great article.thanks for holding the space. Cheers!
How do strong saturn aspect relationships end? How and what are the signs when they end?
There is no telling. Sometimes people hang on beyond reason, sometimes they cut and run. It depends on the rest of the chart and the transits and progressions at the time.
I’m living in a Saturn opp Saturn (orb: 0,5 degree) relationship for 27 years now. I have a strong natal Saturn (Taurus, 9th) and so my husband’s Saturn (in Scorpio, 4th house (close to cusp of 5th), which is completely unaspected in his natal chart) naturally gets aspects from all my natal Saturn aspects: my Chiron (quincunx), Sun & Venus (trine), Mercury (square) and is conjunct my Jupiter (all aspects in a 1-3 degree orb).
His Saturn falls in my 3rd and mine in his 10th (close to the 11th cusp). He’s had lots of relationships before me, but non lasted longer than 4 years … so it seems that he really got “hooked” by my Saturn 😉
I had a 4 year relationship with a man which left me deeply shaken & changed. We had a 14 year age difference and after years of struggle, I finally found the strength to let go of him. Being a psychology student, I have analyzed our story over and over again. I came to some conclusions which your post only confirms. I am baffled by how accurate Astrology is. This Saturn-Saturn Opposition says a lot about the war field I fought on. Thank you for sharing this : it truly helped burying the hatchet in me.
Thanks for this article, Dawn! A lot of it really resonates, and the comments too. There’s someone in my life with whom I have the Saturn opp Saturn you described: 10th house–4th house (1° orb: mine, Taurus; his, Scorpio), as well as his Saturn conj. my Venus/Neptune, and my Moon/Saturn conj. his Mars. We also have Sun opp Sun (0° orb: mine Libra, his Aries), Venus trine Venus, Mars trine Mars, Mars opp Venus, his Pluto conj. my ASC. Love asteroid, nodal, and personal name asteroid aspects, plus a Sun/Venus/NN conjunction in the composite, and composite Saturn on my ASC … I could go on (and on), but suffice to say we have a few cosmic connections 😉 It’s technically a business relationship, but a bizarrely close-yet-distant one. I met him a couple of years ago as I was entering my natal Saturn opposition—so transit Saturn was of course conjunct his. Since two days after we first met, we’ve spent time in near physical proximity every day; in fact he does a great deal for me, yet we lead completely separate existences most of the time. The attraction was immediate and definitely mutual, and whenever we do spend a little time together we always seem to be locking gazes and smiling at each other. The sexual tension is thick, but unacknowledged except by occasional mild flirting both ways (he’s very much attached). I don’t see a path to developing any more of a relationship than we already have, and we have such polar differences (!) that it’s hard to see how we’d fit together even if he were available, but he’s become central to my life in many ways nonetheless. He visits me in recurring dreams; I have no idea if that channel goes both ways, but it’s a very spiritual (and physical but *not* sexual) connection; maybe that’s his Neptune conj. my Sun/Vesta, as well as Neptune trine Moon and sextile Pluto and Mercury in the composite? Anyway, thanks again for the great post! It feels like confirmation that the connection IS as strong as it feels, all obstacles to its realization notwithstanding (could those be partly due to composite Saturn exactly conjunct my ASC?)
I’m obsessed with a man.His saturn opp my saturn.It’s a platonic relationship.He’s my dentist and is married. I’m definitely the “pursuer” and the physical desire that I feel for him is pretty outrageous and intense…My mars conjunction his venus.My venus conjunction his uranus.My neptune square his venus.He knows I’m attracted to him,but I don’t know if he feels the same way about me.I’m going insane.I can’t stop looking in his eyes.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, Luciana, it’s always painful to be uncertain. But there is nothing in the configurations you gave me that indicate anything but romantic and sexual intensity. The Uranus and Neptune factors incline toward obsession, but there is no way to know if the attraction is mutual except through the usual ways. Please take a look at the Neptune factors in your own chart to see if you are vulnerable to this kind of attraction. You would need a full reading to sort this out, and it still probably couldn’t tell you for sure what you want to know or confirm.
well, I have the same aspect with a very good friend. how it played out was very sweet and bitter at the same time. he was in his forties and refusing to settle down. meanwhile he has had a girlfriend for over 10 years. since we became friends, he was the best friend I never had. it was always very easy to talk to him about everything and we somewhat just understood everything. I believe the role I played was to remind him that he needs to get married. I nagged him at every chance I got. when he finally got married, I believe compliments to the eclipse of 28 April 2014 which is his birthday, he told me, one of the reasons he got married was because I told him that he could keep running from commitment but he can never hide from it.
The bitter thing is, only after he got married, we somewhat realized that we were more inlove than we wanted to admit. I read somewhere that this aspect has a tendency to make one or both people sick when they try to separate, and I can say that it is somewhat true. every time I distance himself or he distances himself he gets sick. it is weird. he does not believe in astrology so I cant even talk to him to shake himself out of this for our lives to go on. he recently saw me with my new boyfriend, and today he is home sick off from work. he is making it hard to move away from him. but we cannot be friends without committing adultery in the near future.
I don’t think Saturn makes people ill unless it’s connected to the Moon in some way. It does, however, have a powerful connection to depression, which can cause illness.
This was an excellent perspective on the Saturn elements in the chart. Currently I am in my 3rd Saturn Opposition, 11/5 houses. I find that I am active again sexually ( amazing since I am 72) with a person who is also in his 3rd Saturn Opposition. For me, Mars is conjunct Saturn making this a very strong attraction for both of us who are acting like teenagers. Who on earth would have come to this conclusion? It is amazing. While classmates of mine are dying, I have a rebirth of sorts. And this is also currently opposing my Uranus/Mars natal conjunction. Strictly out of the blue!! The partner has Saturn/Mars conjunct in the 8th house. Lots of intensity for both of us. His is opposing his 2nd house natally with its Saturn Uranus conjunction, Totally unexpected for both of us and totally unsettling. What and where is this going. However at our age, we are seizing the DAY!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Trish. There is life, and astrology, after 60!
I am a 48 year old woman, involved with a 64 year old male partner who lives abroad. We lived in the same country for 1,5 years, then he moved away, and now we make it work from a few hundreds of kms distance.
We broke up a few times, because of difficult communication, a lack of (feeling of) commitment, the distance, whatever. But somehow we can’t seem to stop it because in the meantime we are tremendously growing. When we are apart and when we are together (few weeks every 2 months). We have a history of mirroring each others laundry lists of inadequacies, but always with respect. Always willing to receive the other ones opinion or observation. When we met we were certainly living each others wished lives, me wanting a succesful career, he wanting a fullfilling emotional life. Just to put it simple, because that was of course not the only issue going on. But we kept on putting each other on our path of resonsibility. Its absolutely not an easy relationship, it’s really hard work but – despite of the distance – the rewards are priceless. The best thing is not to force anything in this relationship but to take personal responsibilty first and THEN let things take their course. I find Saturn is very much rewarding the moment you face yourself in the mirror, take that responsibility and work for it. Then things seem to work out for themselves.
I am in a Saturn/Saturn opp relationship. I am Saturnian, my Saturn (retro) is the handling planet in a bucket chart and also part of a water grand trine (and a square key), my partner is Plutonian and his Saturn is part of a yod (with Pluto axis). I have strong Pluto as well.
Through this relationship I broke into pieces and from the deepest hell I faced and processed all my heavy childhood issues that lurked under my carefully constructed nice, responsible well controlled public persona. I’m absolutely far from victimising myself. I’m sure – with me – he too went through his own hell. I would say is more about clashing personalities on an extreme level than abusing each other.
Of course we have power-control issues, and our blunt honesty to each other is borderline abusive especially because we somehow sense each others’ hidden vulnerabilities and all that is repressed and need to be addressed. Destroy and rebuild for better is absolutely describes us (and he also seems to fit well in my karma work). As our relationship has been unfolding through the years, the die-reborn cycles become softer, faster and less charged with negative energies, less emotional bruise and more contentment after.
Also, we are both highly creative but rarely have met people who understand the heavy emotions or thoughts we tend to express. The understanding and ability to share creative processes with someone made me feel deeply bonded. It feels like I have a big, huge shadow self that I has been trying to deny and squeeze back to the unknown now is pouring out freely and constructively.
This is my ‘dark’ (transforming) Plutonian tale of an ‘abusive’ (karmic) Saturnian relationship.
I am beginner in astrology though, and not many times in my life I said: karma work 🙂
Thanks for this! I read this with great interest, as my SO and I have a Saturn-Saturn opposition, with a 15-year age difference and both of our natal Saturns in the 10th house. My natal moon also opposes my natal Saturn in my chart (and my moon is Capricorn).
I have saturn conjunct moon in 7th in aquarius opposite partners saturn conjunct sun in leo in his 7th house (on my asc).. and we have mars opposition too, the attraction was almost instant and intense and it is bringing up some issues for me I can’t quite put into words but he is the first person I have felt could be too good for me normally it’s the other way round. It has only been a month and wonder how this would play out any ideas? I want to know if it’s real as it feels like a dream..
Saturn usually doesn’t feel like a dream. You must have some Neptune going on.
Good Evening (from France)
thank you for this very interesting and deep article, thank you very much
I was really looking for explanation and analysis about Saturn opposite Saturn , because I’m falling in love with a man 14 years younger than me… I am very afraid with my own feelings and about the situation in its whole, so I looked at our synasty of course.. and I saw we have Saturn /Saturn. His saturn in Libra (born october 82) opposite mine in Aries ( born august 68) . The attraction is very strong, In my own chart Saturn is strong because in aries Xth house and conjunct natal aries Moon, trine Leo sun, trine mercure, and apex of yod. In his chart Libra saturn seems to be strong too because conjunct Libra Sun. I don’t know if this because of our opposites sun and moon , or because of the opposite saturns ( his making a boomerang with mine in apex, by the way) but I really have butterflies in my stomach and everything !! I try to drive all this with my feet down on the brakes, but ….
Who said Saturn is cold ?
We are 14 years apart..we are 37 days apart ..my Saturn is in aquarius in 7th house and he has Saturn in aquarius in his 1st house ..does this also have the same interpretation. We are in relationship ..I feel strong pull towards him.